Hi WRP_67,
I would like to join
zachira in welcoming you to our online community
You are coming to some very significant new realizations about your family. When you grow up in such an environment it can be hard to recognize certain dysfunctional patterns. Only when you gain somewhat of an 'outsider looking in perspective', will you really be able to see things for what they really are. You are at this point now and I'm glad you have the support of a therapist to help navigate you through all of this.
I’m a newbie to bpdfamily and the thought my mother & sister may be affected with BPD.
I’m in my 50’s, but when my neice came to live with me permanently some years ago, I saw the way my mother (my neice’s grandmother) interacted with her in (what I now call) emotionally abusive ways. This brought back a lot of memories of anxiety & low self-esteem I had when interacting with my mother in my childhood.
In what ways do you feel your mother is being emotionally abusive toward your niece?
Considering you've been through it yourself, I understand how these experiences could trigger old memories and feelings in you.
Growing up with a brother & sister, in my family, my sister was always the “bad” one and lots of our time & attention was devoted to the drama surrounding her and her bad behavior. My brother & I fully bought into this idea my sister was always the “bad” one.
I’m just now beginning to realize it was/is my BPD mother that controlled the family far more than my BPD sister.
It is sad how a BPD parent can negatively affect the entire family dynamics. How would you describe your current relationship with your sister?
The Board Parrot