First stages of a Divorce

[CBear]

My husband who I am quite sure has BPD has decided once again that he is leaving the relationship. There have been many phone calls to lawyers over the past month since he has left. I am trying to figure out the best course of action. It has been quite amicable until I got sick of the constant lies. I don't know where to start as he was the only one working in the relationship while I stayed home to raise the children. He is trying to assert his authority financially and has told me nothing but lies that I am finding out have no backing whatsoever. I have started to put up boundaries and am starting to talk to lawyers to figure out my best course of action. The problem is every time something is not going the way he wants it to he reacts and goes off the deep end. It has been an emotional roller coaster since he left a month ago. He tells me he no longer loves me but yet will call to go out for dinners.

[Mutt]

Hi CBear,



I'd like to welcome you to bpdfamily. I'm sorry that you're going through this if he has BPD a central criterion is an innate fear of abandonment imagined or real, the go away come closer behaviour can feel like crazy making behaviour to us. Since he fears abandonment, it sounds like he's keeping you within arm's length. What kind lies was he denying? Do you suspect that he was cheating? How many kids do you have? How old are they?

[livednlearned]

Hi CBear,

How are things going? Have you had a chance to talk to any lawyers?

When he asks you out for dinner, do you go?

How are the kids doing now that he is not living at home?

Hope you're doing ok. These are tough marriages and divorces. It's good that you're reaching out for peer support, people here understand what you're going through and really do care.

 

LnL