I need to cut off my mother with BPD but I am stuck

[morningglory]

I am a 21 year old college student, living with my boyfriend and his mother. We live within the same city as my parents.

After leaving home in 2016 after a major argument, I found myself without stable housing for nine months. She has utilized manipulation, gaslighting, and emotional abuse tactics for as long as I have been in her life.

At this point in time, after a back and forth between peace and chaos, I feel that I do not have the strength or energy to continue speaking with her or my father. Because we live in the same city, and the lack of physical violence utilized towards me, I am struggling to find the legal grounds for a restraining order.

I am unemployed and rely solely on gig work and help from my significant other due to health issues of my own.

I am here in hopes of finding individuals with similar backgrounds, and resources so as to put this chaos to rest and begin to heal.

[Harri]

Hi morningglory and welcome to the board!  I am sorry for the circumstances that brought you here but this is a wonderful place where we can all relate.  I am sure as you read more on this site that you will find people in similar situations.

Can you tell us what the most problematic behaviors are?  What sort of things have you already tried?  I ask just so we can get a better idea of what is going on and so we can steer you in a direction that will work best for you.

It can be exhausting to be on an emotional roller coaster with family members and it sounds like that has been going on for a while.  Are you safe and happy living with your boyfriend and his mother?  Are they able to support you emotionally?

I hope to hear more from you.  Post as you feel the need or desire.  in the meantime, take a look around!

[Speck]

Welcome, morningglory!



Let me join Harri in welcoming you to the discussion forums. I am so sorry you are dealing with this. You will see from reading the posts here that you are far from alone.

Thank you for sharing with us what you have thus far:

At this point in time, after a back and forth between peace and chaos, I feel that I do not have the strength or energy to continue speaking with her or my father. Because we live in the same city, and the lack of physical violence utilized towards me, I am struggling to find the legal grounds for a restraining order.

Would a restraining order be necessary? Is it possible to simply adopt a No Contact policy with your parents and leave it at that? Or do you fear that your parents would not honor your wishes to go radio silent? What are the behaviors that are causing you the most trouble?

I am here in hopes of finding individuals with similar backgrounds, and resources so as to put this chaos to rest and begin to heal.

We are so glad that you are here! I believe that you have found the best place in the world for understanding, compassion, and education as it relates to healing from behaviors associated with pwBPD. When I was 23 years old, I too, had to go complete NC with my NPD-afflicted parents, and it was the best decision I've ever made (besides going to college). That was 23 years ago. I am now 46 years old and gratefully enjoy Thanksgivings without roasted turkeys flying across the table. So, I very well understand your need to protect yourself.

Please feel free to post - tell us more about what is going on your life and what, if any, plans you might have for the future. We look forward to hearing more from you.

Keep writing, keep processing, keep learning!


-Speck