Hi Christianboy.
Pearlsw posted while I was writing this, so there's some repetition.
One clue that you’re serious about this is that you filled out your profile. Nice.
As you can imagine its hard for me to correctly and cleanly explain everything here as its a confusing situation that I am trying to work out in my mind.
Please be assured that most members here can write, or have written, details very similar to yours. That’s how you know you’re in the right place. It’s not surprising that you’re having a difficulty explaining things. It’s complicated. As you progress through this, you’ll find it easier… and that’s a sign you’re gradually wrapping your brain around it.
A couple things will help you get a handle on what's happening.
Read through more of the materials, even if it’s just the occasional concepts people bring up in replies. For example:
and no amount of explaining myself does any good.
That can be found here. Also, keep posting. Even a short rant about a single event. You’re not just writing so others can learn more about your situation. Writing also helps you see patterns in your relationship that you can build from.
You found at least one pattern on your own.
Also acknowledging how she feels.
With those last two pasted quotes, you have the beginnings of a hypothetical book called "Arguments and How To Avoid Them."
So overall, a piece here and a nugget there, combined with an understanding what works and what doesn’t in your relationship, and you should gradually see improvements, at least in yourself. You mentioned that you don’t want to get in a bad way. That’s actually a decent initial goal, because if you can avoid having your head spin when she says bizarre things, you can keep a better focus throughout.
-ngu
