New here: Young adult child with BPD - overwhemed yet another verbal onslaught

[Siena]

First time here.  Feeling a little overwhelmed.  Last night was yet another verbal onslaught by one of my young adult children, that I don't feel I handled as well as I'd have liked to.  Have had years of therapy around boundaries and dealing with other family members with mental health issues.  Thought I had it down, but it feels horribly difficult right now.  Trying to stay in the moment, not think about the past and what we've had to go through, nor projecting that onto the future.  I'm tired.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Huat]

Hello Siena.     Glad you found us... .sorry you had the need to.

All of us can understand when we read your... ."I'm tired."  We all have our days... .ups... .downs.  Sometimes seems the "downs" happen more than the "ups."

So now you are here and hopefully you will find the comfort and support that so many of us feel as we put our fingers to the keyboard, pour out our hearts.  There are no immediate answers to the problems we live through with these "special" children of ours but there are tools (see to the right |---> that we can learn to use with links to more.  The thing is, Siena, you are not alone and, that in itself, can be comforting.

Wonderful attitude of yours... ."trying to stay in the moment... ."   Guess the catch word for that these days is "Mindfulness" and, when put into practice, I'm finding that it really does help.

So, Siena, once again... .welcome.  Let us help you walk through this journey with your child and, in turn, you will be helping others as they read your posts.   This support group is 24/7.

Huat

 

[Merlot]

Hi Siena

I welcome you to the bpdfamily along with Huat 

Last night was yet another verbal onslaught by one of my young adult children, that I don't feel I handled as well as I'd have liked to.  Have had years of therapy around boundaries and dealing with other family members with mental health issues.  Thought I had it down, but it feels horribly difficult right now. 

Sounds like you have been in this space for quite some time, that in itself is exhausting    That you have been in therapy and have been able to set boundaries and feel like you are doing well is fantastic.    When you say you didn't handle it well on this occasion, we are all human and it's a measure of how much you have been dealing with rather than any failing on your part, and you have great awareness of being able to bring it back to focusing on the moment and not looking too far back.

I can certainly take a leaf out of your book as I try to move forward and make changes in myself.

We look forward to hearing more from you.

Merlot

[Speck]

Welcome, Siena!



I wanted to take a moment to join Huat and Merlot in welcoming you to the discussion forums. I'm so sorry for what you're going through but glad you have found a community where many of us have been through similar experiences, and we can learn from each other. From what you have written, it seems clear you will get good ideas and support here if you continue to read and post. In short, you have found the best place in the world for understanding, compassion, and education as it relates to coping with loved ones who have personality disorders.

Thank you for sharing with us what you have thus far:

First time here.  Feeling a little overwhelmed.  Last night was yet another verbal onslaught by one of my young adult children, that I don't feel I handled as well as I'd have liked to. I'm tired.

I am so sorry you are faced with this. Even so, I just have to applaud you for being willing to continue to put forth effort into understanding your adult child. In my opinion, that's true love. This site is rather HUGE, however, there are many, many articles related to bettering your relationship with the angle of using healthy communication techniques, setting needed boundaries, and validating what is valid. You will find these articles in the right-handed panel on this board. We can help you with questions, point you in the direction of additional resources, or just be a sounding board.

Tell us more about yourself and your story. It helps you to get it out, and it helps others when they see that they are not the only ones suffering. We look forward to hearing more from you.

Keep writing, keep processing, keep learning!


-Speck