New relationship turned sour so sudden, could it be undiagnosed BPD?

[anon21245]

Hi all,

Left very confused by all of this, im quite a deep thinker so don't really know if i am reading into it all too much and the story is quite long winded so will keep as short as possible.

Basically i met this girl, beautiful girl, she has a little girl same as me, seemed to have her life together, did question how / why she was single to myself but you know, i was single myself so these things do happen, fact of life.

We began talking, she "accidentally" super liked me on tinder, actually read a story recently about a guy who met a girl who turned out to have BPD done the same thing to him, still not sure if it was an accident or not but i digress.

We spoke for quite some time, around a month before I plucked up the courage to ask her out, quite early on it became apparent she had problems with her then ex partner, she told me that he had a baby behind her back with someone else when they first got together which was almost 5 years ago and also as of last November she also caught him red handed taking his kids and his other ex partner to disneyland paris behind her back, this she claimed, is what brung their relationship to an absolute end.

We finally met, there was definitely chemistry, initially i werent too infatuated with her but as things progressed and we slept with eachother the feelings became more real, 2 weeks after we slept together we found out she was pregnant, now I know you may think this is quite soon but she was ovulating at the time and missed her period, she went for the dating scan and all dates etc checked out fine as obviously i was sceptical, i checked the images she sent me for location etc and it all checked out and she reassured me it was mine, i reassured myself with the "if she'd been with someone else why would she even bother telling me" talk.

Anyhow, when she first told me I was as shocked as she was about it, I told her my stance on it which was that it was too soon but I would never force a woman through an abortion, she really wanted to keep it, so I made the decision to lay that mental foundation and become a parent with her, i know it was too soon but we did get along so well and like I say I am not a coward and I can more than afford financially and emotionally another child, after a few days I was really excited about it and happy with how things were going. Along the way she would reassure me about everything that she wouldn't be doing any of it if she wasn't happy with me or the baby etc so I have no reason to suspect otherwise.

Fast forward some time, she is now 9 weeks pregnant, we have taken the girls out a together a few times, celebrated my birthday, spent quality time together, and completed 7 seasons of game of thrones. For my birthday she had booked for us to go away in July, best gift ever as she pointed out the 2 things we both enjoy doing, sleeping and eating . It was such a thoughtful gift and I was seriously overwhelmed by it although it was just words in a card, her little girl also bought me a balloon, cake and handwritten card which I thought was absolutely adorable.

During our relationship her ex had popped up a few times, she told me how odd his behaviour is and how she was so unhappy with him and could never go back to it, she was seemingly really into me and she expressed it through text also how she would look forward to seeing me and would text me every morning with the usual morning text, we spoke a lot and the conversation was never really boring, we had good banter and enjoyed eachothers company.

He had turned up one point and snatched her phone out of her hand and drove off, only to come give it back and have her say its over leave me alone etc and he left her.

She also showed me one time when we were laying down that he had tried calling her through whatsapp as when she moved away from him she changed her numbers etc.

I didnt question it as she had given me the security i needed, she told me hed get bored and move onto other things soon.

This is where things get confusing and interesting.



Sunday 20th May we had sex and she complained of a lower pelvic pain afterwards, which naturally i felt I had caused and I understand can be a sign of miscarriage.

Monday 21st may she was texting me and being loving as ever, her best mate had asked if I wanted to go with them to this caravan park for the weekend or a night, I said I could maybe pop down for a night or so but didn't want to cramp them. Pain was still there.

Her ex boyfriend had turned up at her work this day also, jumped in her car and refused to leave unless he got a kiss, she rung me up after it happened and told me everything. (Still don't know if it is a lie and shed been texting him behind my back)

Tuesday 22nd she was still loving as ever, texting all day as usual, talking about when we will see each other next and looking forward to it, general banter, you know, normal texting conversation.

Her ex sent her flowers this day while she was at work, she sent me a picture saying these just turned up and said to me shes going to get the message across to him that she was with someone else and he needs to stop, she reassured me that shes with me and its not just us two with plenty of kisses after it. When she left he was waiting outside for her, the girls from her work had to go over to get her so she could get away. Once again, she told me everything but still do not know if its a lie or not.


The pain was still there Tuesday, she sent me updates on the babies progress, told me she sulked for the first couple days as she thought she wasn't going to be able to keep it etc, she reassured me throughout the pregnancy that she would't be doing any of this if she wasn't happy with me or the baby, I reassured her that I felt happy and blessed it was happening and couldn't wait. She agreed also with love struck emojis, she was following pages on instagram of cot makers, was looking forward to booking an early dating scan, always careful what she ate, always worked out how many weeks she would be if we planned something ahead. She had actually for my birthday 18th may booked for us to have an overnight stay in a hotel in july, her little girl brung me a cake, card and balloon for me too the night we took them bowling which made my eyes well up, it was literally the best birthday I have had in my 29 years of existence, the feeling of love was completely over whelming I was so happy.

Wednesday 24th may, morning text as usual, seemed fairly normal in the morning, got to about 10am and she went a bit distant, werent texting back for 2 hours at a time, I asked if she was okay and she said she was feeling crap, I said come to me whenever you are ready to which she replied, okay I am just going to get my little girl and then take her out for a bit, this was followed by 1 kiss (british people use x at the end to symbolise kisses for those that dont know) well usually she sends minimum of 2 but I didnt read into it too much, i mean shes carrying my child for gods sake how much more certain can things be.

Anyway, she text me 3 hours later saying "havent felt right all day, just got home and ive got blood, knew I didnt feel right today, you okay? xx"

Bare in mind I haven't seen her since the sunday, and the pain followed through to this day.

I was panicked, but I composed myself and responded in a good manner, i told her we should go hospital and she said there's nothing they can do, I said yes but at least we will know, she said its too early to know, I said well if you go can i come with you, she said yes if she goes. She also said things along the lines of, "if its happened its happened not anything anyone can do".

I reassured her that I am there for her, i explained I am not sure how to act if I should give her space or try and see her so if she could help in anyway I would do as she pleases.

I was broken, I remained loving and supportive as i couldn't begin to imagine her pain knowing how excited she had been,

The next day (Thurdsay) she was very distant, hardly text me at all, she text me in the morning as usual but hardly anything all day, she spout the words "some things just aren't meant to be" and I interpreted this as the way she was coming across because she felt so broken by it and it broke my heart.

Later on Thursday night, she text me saying "Sorry I have't text, I have been to the hospital and I am definitely miscarrying, its just something I needed to do on my own xx"

I told her to never apologise and that I want to be there for her / with her, i told her I needed her too right now but understand if she needs space, I will always be here for her.

She responsded "i get that, just with this I needed some space"

I said listen, you've got as much space as you need, im trying not to smother you.

She text me on Friday,

Hey sorry not text had a lot to think about, things have happened quick, so quick. I need to concentrate on my little girl and my housing situation, I need to be on my own, hope you are okay.

I text her back telling her i was confused and that we were going through this together and her responses were, " we arent though thats the thing, i need to be on my own"

"I have a lot going on in my life and now this, i need to be on my own"

She kept telling me she had a lot going on.

Confused and upset i told her how i felt, not nastily, just expressing my feelings which probably didnt help but where she knew my stance to begin with I didnt want her to think I was happy it was happening so I let out some emotion.

So i've lost my baby, and this perfect woman. My world literally fell apart, for the next 9 days I cried everyday, started smoking 20 cigs a day, I did not eat, or sleep, I was hit hard by anxiety and depression and felt like my life was over.

Since then her personality has completely changed, I spoke to her on the day after she dumped me and she said that she is in the hospital right now having a miscarriage and didnt want to talk to me.

Im dealing with this and moving on with my life

She said this werent meant to be

I told her I just wanted to know how she is and that i werent trying to win her back.

She wouldnt let me be there for her, not even by text.

She told me to never message her again

She told me I have no other option than to be fine with it.

She said it was ridiculous that I kept messaging her and to just leave her be.

I apologised later for going on at her but she completely cut me out and I had a million thoughts going through my head and couldnt make sense of any of it. Has she gone back to her ex, did she abort, is it genuine miscarriage and she doesn't want anything to do with any of us. It drove me insane.

A couple days after I asked her how she was, she told me fine, im fine, cba to do this im fine, stop messaging me, you dont talk to ex's you break up you dont talk thats it. Not doing this, going in circles.

I was generally just asking what happened and why shes acting like she hates me, i had a notification on my phone that she had unliked my photos, this totally confused me and prompted me to message her, she didnt respond when I asked why and still remains a mystery.

So her complete personality change, I couldnt get my head around anything and sometimes my messages were heated cause she was talking to me like ___ and saying stuff to me that just didn't seem like her, she was so lovely and carrying my child, i told her I can't just let go like that because of the baby.

She told me she changed her mind about us and there was no baby shed had a missed miscarriage ( I tracked the photos she sent from the scan and pregnancy test) locations and dates check out.

She was 100% pregnant.

Since then shes told me she just didnt want to be with me.

I've been left so confused and broken by all of this I just dont understand.

Her mum has bipolar and I think her dad might have trouble too, she also had bit of a rough upbringing.

She splits up with her ex quite a lot but she told me loads of stuff about him which could be why she split up with him but now im starting to think its when she has episodes she breaks away from him.

Since all of this has happened she popped up the Sunday just got and said to me it is my last warning otherwise she is going to have me done for harassment, the last time I spoke to her was over 2 weeks ago, she accussed me of getting new SIM cards in an attempt to contact her.

Does anyone else find this behaviour strange as she seemed to conveniently forget about harassment when her ex was turning up at her place of work and not allowing her to go. He waited outside from 1pm till 5pm at one stage just so he could jump in her car when she left.

I have told her to leave me alone and let me get on with my life now as I do not want to be part of her games (she unblocked me to tell me about the harassment warning), I was genuinely concerned after the "miscarriage" as i wanted to be there for her, I assured her the whole time I weren't trying to get back with her I just wanted to be there for her even if its just by text.

I have not seen her for 5 weeks.

What could cause this sudden overnight change in personality to potentially lie about a miscarriage and have an abortion and go back to her ex partner?

Obviously I am one very confused and hurt individual and I am grateful I have found these sites as I was left with 0 closure.

Apologies for the long thread !

Thanks

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[pearlsw]

Hi anon21245,

I was holding my breath as I read this! This is so incredibly hard! I am so sorry that you have so many really BIG unanswered questions! Oh, this is so tough!

Well, sit yourself down here a moment, and let's take a breath... .

Okay. So, there are so many things here you may never get answers to, and that is going to hurt, a lot, for awhile. But a day will come, when this will hurt less acutely. 

It is hard to know for sure if she was pregnant or not, but your post here does seem to indicate that it was likely true.

Don't think to hard about or compare yourself to the ex, okay? He had more time with her and that just is what it is. It has nothing to do with you.

The part that matters now is you and how you can make peace with this and move forward. I know the questions are eating you up, but you must not contact her again. She has made that clear. And the best thing for you is to assume that she will never be back in contact so you can go on. That's just my opinion though based upon her threat to contact the authorities.

She has made it pretty clear and it is now a risk to you, a serious risk, if you contact her. When those moments of doubt and... .ah, those times you are tossing and turning and needing answers, please, just post here and talk with the community here where it is safe, okay?

In terms of BPD, possibly, or possibly some of the traits. Have you ever looked over a list of them and do you feel strongly this may be the case? What other symptoms did you notice?

with deep compassion, pearl.

[anon21245]

Hi anon21245,

In terms of BPD, possibly, or possibly some of the traits. Have you ever looked over a list of them and do you feel strongly this may be the case? What other symptoms did you notice?

Hi Pearl,

The ability to switch her emotions off seemingly overnight, the manipulation (which may be NPD traits), the lies I caught her out on, the impulsive attitude towards keeping the baby only to possibly abort, the family problems (bipolar mum, BPD sister and their father is a bit odd too) she played the victim, she always had stuff going wrong in her life, housing situation, faulty car, losing bank cards constantly, breaking her phone, ex issues, just to name a few.

I have been told by various people that know her that she had a really rough upbringing and she blows hot and cold, one minute likes someone next hates them, seems almost evident that she suffers with this type of illness, she was so into me and wanted to be with me all the time, day after she broke up with me its like she hates me.

Very odd!

Thanks for your reply!

[Forearmed]

Hi anon21245,

My heart goes out to you reading this, mate. My situation (with waif BPD) was nowhere near as poignant as this one but much of the dialogue of your final two weeks mirrors it *extremely* closely - even if mine was a protracted devaluation over months of 'friendship' [post relationship with crazy sudden breakup ; ) ] where she wanted to see me but could never actually commit to meeting.

Now, no one can be sure but with this ex floating around it almost sounds like she actually decided to have an abortion (as you suspect). What i can tell you is stressful situations make them reveal much more of who they really are. Remember, the core BPD / cluster B personality is completely self-absorbed (out of any honeymoon period) and that tends to unveil itself slowly but surely for some. They also never want to deal with any truths, so to keep in their lives (if they see any need for you) you have to accept ;  vague explanations/  no explanations / avoidance / denial and even projection to hide whatever they are really up to.

You have enough knowledge to know this woman's behaviour isn't normal and her lack of empathy shocking... .but it's  typical for a BPD who no longer is naturally self -manipulating/ presenting her very best face through the honeymoon period.

You sound a damn good guy. Sadly, this is all part of life and your journey. Get strong for 'you' as no one knows what comes next for any of us, but you can be better ready to grasp the next good thing.

Best.   

[pearlsw]

the impulsive attitude towards keeping the baby only to possibly abort

Hi anon21245,

So your take is that she was pregnant, but impulsively chose to have an abortion?

Just want to be clear on things!

sincerely, pearl.

[anon21245]

So your take is that she was pregnant, but impulsively chose to have an abortion?

Absolutely correct, I was under the illusion at the time due to the reassurance that she had given me that there was no way she could go back to that, i mean how could she trade me and who I am and what we had built for someone who clearly does not give a toss about her, and to go through an abortion in the process to do just that, it absolutely blows my mind.

She had her get out from the early stages so why she decided to drag it on a further couple months is beyond me, but then I would find myself in a position where I am trying to justify the actions of someone who clearly isn't well, I am not holding anything negative against her it would be a waste of energy that could be used for good, I am merely on a journey of enlightenment now as I have experienced the darkest days of my life and I ain't going to lie or be dramatic, it completely destroyed me as a person and I am just rebuilding myself now.

It definitely hasn't been healthy for me as you can imagine also, I couldn't bare to look at myself in the mirror because I made myself feel sick, i became extremely judgemental of myself but I have since been out and attracted other females who have boosted my confidence again but even with these beautiful girls singing me praises and wanting to get to know me better I can't seem to shake the feelings i've got for this girl who is capable of doing evil things to me. Why do we believe as humans we are so intelligent yet we can't seem to shake the most primitive emotions...

I would like to point out also that I had no idea what this girl was like so this did pull the rug from beneath my feet, its almost as if I am experiencing an alternate reality, it really did switch up that fast.

My mental capacity has been severely damaged too, I have found myself doing things I would never think of doing,  I have developed a strange nervous twitch also when I think about some of the times we spent together, i guess my mind and body is just having a hard time adjusting to this drastic change of circumstances.

Thanks for all of your replies they are healthy energy that is well needed for me right now, it a good place to be!

[Skip]

First and foremost, let me offer my condolences and prayers to you for your child being lost to all of this.

I can certainly understand the magnitude of of the grief of losing the child and having the mother walk out for reason that probably have very little to do with you.

And certainly not to justify her actions, but if she still had unfinished business with her last relationship, was pregnant with your baby and planning a future, two men vying for her heart, and morning sickness - her life would have been an emotional quagmire.  She made some bad choices that got her into this. She made some bad choices to deal with it - a child is gone.

How to pick up from here?

First, you have to let yourself grieve the loss of the child. That is huge.  We are certainly here to walk with you on that.

Second, as crazy as this sounds, you shouldn't take this personally. From the sounds of it, regardless of what she said, she was not over the other guy. Rebound relationships are so dangerous and this is why - they is often another story playing out that you know nothing about. I got caught in a rebound myself... .one of the most painful experiences in my life.

Absolutely correct, I was under the illusion at the time due to the reassurance that she had given me that there was no way she could go back to that, i mean how could she trade me and who I am and what we had built for someone who clearly does not give a toss about her, and to go through an abortion in the process to do just that, it absolutely blows my mind.

She had her [chance to] get out from the early stages so why she decided to drag it on a further couple months is beyond me, but then I would find myself in a position where I am trying to justify the actions of someone who clearly isn't well, I am not holding anything negative against her it would be a waste of energy that could be used for good, I am merely on a journey of enlightenment now as I have experienced the darkest days of my life and I ain't going to lie or be dramatic, it completely destroyed me as a person and I am just rebuilding myself now.

Obviously she has a change of heart - you can almost pinpoint the day and time that it happened. What did she suddenly see? Do you have any idea?

When the conflict escalated, she probably just needed to get to the safest harbor. One thing I have learned is that people in this spectrum who are overwhelmed often run rather than solve... .that can't face their own shame.

I think you are starting down the right path. We'll here everyday to talk with you.

Skip

[Gemsforeyes]

Dear Anon-

I am deeply sorry for the pain, sadness and feelings of loss you are experiencing.  There is absolutely nothing that is easily explained about this situation, except that nothing will be explained and you will likely never be given the truth.  And sadly, you likely were not told the entire truth to begin with.  Many pwBPD traits have a poor and strained relationship with the truth.

It is so clear that you are a loving, truly kind and compassionate man with a strong sense of responsibility.  Had this woman shared any of these honorable traits, she would have welcomed your offers of support when she was supposedly experiencing "pain". 

I may be biased in my view of things, but I am somewhat skeptical of her stories around her "ex".  As were you.  Please know... .I don't mean to add to your pain, but I'm unsure that she knew who fathered the child.  I say this because of something that happened to a friend of mine.

Regardless... .there is a child to mourn.  So take the time you need to process that loss, as Skip has advised.  But you also have a beautiful daughter to be healthy for.  And in many ways, the end of this relationship likely has spared your daughter years of entanglement with a very unbalanced "stepmom".

Anon- You have no reason to avoid facing yourself.  You did everything possible to support this woman, given her words.  You chose to trust her, which is what we'd all hope we could do under similar circumstances.  You had no way of knowing the heartbreak and dishonesty this woman carried.

Pearls is right on advising you to maintain No Contact and to take the threats of reporting you for "harassment" seriously.  No matter how she may contact you, email, text, WhatsApp, please don't respond.  It's a good idea to save her contact attempts, but stop yourself from responding.  You can say ANYTHING you want to say here.

Please take good care of yourself.  Talk to close friends about what you're feeling and continue posting on our forum.  These relationships can take time to recover from; and yours had an added layer of emotion piled on that makes it particularly painful.  As Skip and Pearls stated, we are here to walk alongside you.

Warmly,
Gemsforeyes

[anon21245]

Hi Everyone,

Thanks once again for your replies and kind words, it certainly does help to put things into perspective, i think the scariest aspect of this whole scenario is the deceitfulness and facade she had in place from which she hid her true self, I feel betrayed at the very least.

I did wake up this morning after having a night reflecting on things which I tend not to do as much now, and for a few hours I felt quite depressed, it is such a horrible feeling to know that you can give your everything to somebody with the purest of intentions only for it to not be enough.

I need to get out of the habit of thinking about it and then trying to work out reasons as to why i wasn't good enough for her because it certainly isn't healthy on the mind.

You would think that given this experience I would be more prepared in the future, however, i read an article that hit the nail on the head which explained that the traits pwBPD carry are indistinguishable from real love, that's a harrowing concept.

Also, the image of the person I had created in my mind does not actually exist as I believed, is also a separate situation which requires grieving, i feel like I have not only lost a good friend, but a lover and a child.

The saddest thing about this whole ordeal is that if she came back with any amount of compassion, I would probably accept her with open arms knowing full well it could be part of a destructive cycle which will only lead to one person getting hurt again... .

Why are they so addictive!

Thanks once again, the journey continues... .

[Skip]

What article did you read?

[anon21245]

She came back last night, she messaged me apologising on her behalf for how she has been, it wasnt that long ago she had me blocked on everything and accused me of harassment.

I should of come here to ask for help first but I messaged her back thanking her for the message and I said we all act how we act in the situation and no one is to blame really (when obviously she is to blame because I couldn't be more on her side at the time)

I know she went back to her ex but it seems evident from quotes shes liked that she must of broken up with him again!


Such a confusing thing to happen, shes consciously had to go through the processes of unblocking me and messaging me so what is going on in her mind!

What do I make of all this? What do i do!

[pearlsw]

Hi anon22145,

So what do you think is going on here? You think things didn't work out with her and the other guy so is checking on the state of things with you?

How did she word the apology exactly, may I ask? What was she sorry for?

take care, pearl.

[Gemsforeyes]

Dear anon-

We all respond before thinking, so don’t fault yourself for that.  I’m sorry I didn’t see this until now.

I’m hoping you haven’t seen her yet, but I’m guessing you have.  My first and most obvious advice?  Use birth control, but that goes without saying (I hope).

And I also wonder, how DID she explain her actions?

More importantly, please remember how you felt a short month ago.  Maybe sit with those feelings for a bit and realize that you may meet some of those feelings again soon.

Your last involvement with her was a rebound, and so is this.  As long as you’re aware that her ex is likely still in her orbit and you’re okay with that likely fact, do what feels comfortable.  But care for yourself and your child.

People don’t change who they are in a month, especially when they’re not doing the hard work.  Some pwBPD simply cycle around trying to fill that emptiness. 

Please care for your heart.  I’m not intending to be harsh, but I don’t believe she will.

Warmly,
Gemsforeyes

[anon21245]

Hi anon22145,

So what do you think is going on here? You think things didn't work out with her and the other guy so is checking on the state of things with you?

How did she word the apology exactly, may I ask? What was she sorry for?

take care, pearl.

Hi Pearl,

This is the messge

Alright *my real name* . Hope your ok . Look I wanted to msg and say I’m
Not a nasty or horrible
Person I don’t want things to be left how they was I don’t like things like that . I apologise for things or my behalf and hope we can just stay civil.

And yes, more than likely but hard to tell.

I have responded since but not sure what to make of it all! I could see that she kept looking at the message to see if I was reading it, you know when you can see the circles flashing in corner of facebook messenger.

Confused as ever still, the logical side of me knows to just leave her to it but the illogical side which we all have still wants her back.

What a mess!

[anon21245]

Your last involvement with her was a rebound, and so is this.  As long as you’re aware that her ex is likely still in her orbit and you’re okay with that likely fact, do what feels comfortable.  But care for yourself and your child.

People don’t change who they are in a month, especially when they’re not doing the hard work.  Some pwBPD simply cycle around trying to fill that emptiness. 

I have seen that shes liked quotes which could suggest shes not getting on with this guy again, conicidence that shes messaged me a short time after this or not? I have no idea, im guessing it is by design!

She could never damage me how she has again, and for the record I haven't see her no, just totally confused by the fact she has messaged me.

[Gemsforeyes]

Hi anon-
It’s only “a mess” if you actively re-engage and “forgive” without a complete and full apology and explanation from her, which she has not provided.  At least from what I can see.  I’m not really one to speak, I had forgiven empty apologies countless times.

And anon... .if you are in fact curious, and she texts again, and you believe the door is open for questions, then ask her questions about why she did what she did.  After all, if you have to be “afraid” this early in the thing, how can you possibly move forward in any type of healthy relationship, right?  That’s just my feeling, though... .I’m just thinking that after what you’ve been through, you deserve some honesty so you can make a good decision.  If she blows up at being asked, you may say - “eh, never mind”.  But if she takes full responsibility and comes clean, then there’s a horse of a different color.  You see?

Please recall that she went very quickly from having a life, love and a child with you to no child, no life, no love and threats of harassment.  That was a rapid and headspinning about-face.  And it broke your heart.  Your heart.

You were blaming yourself for things you were NOT to blame for... .saying you were not enough.  You are MORE than enough.  The problem is in her.

The best thing for you, I believe, is to maintain space for the time being and learn more about BPD and these behaviors- the recycling of relationships.  We, most of us think we cannot be hurt like that again, but sadly, we’re mostly wrong in that thinking.  Our feelings seem to somehow be more “genuine” when it comes to love.

If you haven’t already done so, re-read what you wrote above in the beginning.  Sometimes our own words act as the best reminders of our feelings.

If you do decide to begin again, please use the tools on this site to assist in understanding her illness.  And stay with us... .please keep posting.

Warmly,
Gemsforeyes

[anon21245]

Gemsforeyes,

Thank you so much for that in depth and thoughtful reply.

I never thought I would hear from her again so for her to actually communicate with me makes me feel much less worthless, it is almost a form of closure for me.

I am still not 100% sure of her intentions due to the coincidence between these posts shes been liking and the fact shes messaged me on top of that but whatever happens I am still moving forward.

Maybe she did just want to say sorry for her own peace of mind? Hard to tell but good luck to her in life anyway I wish nothing bad for her, it has just taught me to be very very cautious of whom I am dealing with.

I won't be going anywhere and I will be staying on this forum to learn more, all of you are angels amongst men/women.

Thanks for your time!