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Author Topic: Acting nice vs. Being good (acting vs. virtue)  (Read 309 times)
JNChell
a.k.a. "WTL"
********
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Dissolved
Posts: 3519



« on: August 25, 2018, 11:54:27 AM »

Emotionally manipulative people are very good actors at first. They’re very nice. They are able to seek out potential supply by a few questions upon meeting them. They are nice in doing so, but there is a purpose for that. Being. nice can be an act.

Being good is a virtue. It’s a value that we possess and seek. It is what is. There is no acting involved.

S3’s mother was a very nice woman, even when revealing the initial   Red flag/bad  (click to insert in post)’s. I was paying attention to the wrong things. I was paying attention to her attention to me, not her. Not the warning signs.

In saying this, I realize that I was starved for attention myself, and it was noticed quickly by my ex.

Anyway, taking time with a potential partner makes sense now. Exploring them without interrogating them. Listening to the gut, and trusting it.
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“Adversity can destroy you, or become your best seller.”
-a new friend
Insom
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 680



« Reply #1 on: August 25, 2018, 12:49:38 PM »

Thoughtfully said, JNChell.   I can relate to how powerful it feels to redirect caring attention toward yourself. 

Excerpt
I realize that I was starved for attention myself, and it was noticed quickly by my ex.

How do you feel about your attention status status now that you've been able to look back and notice you were starved?  Still hungry?  Found a way to get that need met?  Still searching?
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JNChell
a.k.a. "WTL"
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Dissolved
Posts: 3519



« Reply #2 on: August 25, 2018, 01:12:48 PM »

Hi, Insom. I’m still very hungry and still searching, but the compass has changed direction. It’s pointing at me. As far as curing the hunger? I’m working on it through therapy. Thank you for reaching out.
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“Adversity can destroy you, or become your best seller.”
-a new friend
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