A lot going on in his life, I still wanna rekindle things

[FaithfulInLove]

Hello BPD family!

My mission of reconnecting with my ex is still on
There was so much going on in his life lately that I don't think he even had a chance to really reconnect with me emotionally.

The past 4 months:
He got together with someone else, moved out from his parents and in with her, fought with her, moved out again after only 2 months, moved in with his brother 2 months ago, faught with him and is moving back to his parents now.
I am really sorry what he must be going through right now and I am happy he has kind of accepted me as a source for daily support since things went bad with his girlfriend after he first tried cutting off contact with me.
I see that he often is not feeling okay and I am happy that with me and his parents he at least has a few people he can feel safe around.

By now I am sure that he and that girl really have broken up. Their Facebook status has changed to single only now - don't know if the break up is a recent thing that he has to deal with additionally now or if he has been telling the truth when 2 months ago he told me they are no longer together.

I am happy to be his friend, still wonder if I have a chance to move this back to a romantic level. I am trying my best to work on myself until we meet again in about 2 months. I have managed to get much calmer, I accept it if he is not in touch with me 24/7. I still have weak moments, but they get less - I barely cry anymore.

Do you have any ideas on how I can get better in using the tools?
I do know a lot theoretically but feel like I didn't really have the chance to practice them a lot - apart from the communication we had via text which went pretty well so far.

Love,

Faithful  

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RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[babyducks]

Hi Faithful,

I think it's smart to recognize that using the tools requires practice.     What I know about these communication skills is that they work for everyone, everywhere.     So you can practice on people at work.   You can practice on people you meet in shops.    but the best place to practice is probably here.     pick a fresh thread,  welcome a newcomer.   validate their experience.    find a thread where a SET will fit.   you don't have to tell anyone here you are practicing communication skills and emotional validation.    find threads where you can participate and learn.


what do you think?

'ducks

[FaithfulInLove]

babyducks, that sounds like a good idea which can help me and maybe others.
I am interested in using those skills in real life more, not only in text messages. Do you have examples of how you're using them at work or in shops?
Especially in shops, I just can't really imagine which tools could be useful there... . Thank you x