Broke up from BPD gf feeling in shock really mentally scarred

[Feenix]

Hi I've just broken up with my gf who has BPD I am feeling in shock sort of now she's gone I realise I feel like I've just come out the washing machine. I loved half of her so much she was the nicest person I met but the other half was horrible no matter what I said she didn't listen or compromise she cheated on me twice then when we broke up she was on dating sites sending me all sorts of stuff telling me about deck pics which obvo just hurt she's emotionally abused me too much for me to write down it could be pages. Hi ws do I recover when I'm too depressed to do anything ?

[RandallUk30]

Welcome to the first part of healing.

It feels crap right now, probably random things like music or a picture on the wall can suddenly cast you back to better times... .but do the good times outweigh the bad? No. Will she change? Hell no! Does she value you? Nope. Will you find someone that is amazing and will value you? Hell yeah you will!

Remember you are here now because you were in a dysfunctional, chaotic and toxic relationship and no matter what you did it wasn’t your fault. She has a mental disorder that will not be cured and whatever you think or want to do will not ever change her.

Feel free to wallow for a little while but know it will get better and you will 10x the person for it, although it won’t seem like it at the moment.

Do yourself a favour. Delete your dating accounts (I’d you have one) for now until you’re ready to get back at it. Delete and block her number and everything on social media and go no contact. If you let her she will abuse you more, pull you back in and chuck you to the curb and you’ll be at square one. Take time for yourself, enjoy the freedom and thank your lucky stars you’ve escaped!

Ps. Did I say block her number?

P.p.s. Sometimes writing our your feelings on here or to yourself really is a good way to vent the anger and frustration!

[spero]

Hi Feenix,

How are you doing? How did manage to find this community. I'd like to send you greetings
I'm really sorry for how you are feeling right now. You must feel overwhelmed at this point with all that is happening.
Do you have family around you right now while you're coping with this situation?

Take heart,
Spero