Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
March 29, 2024, 10:32:12 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: Cat Familiar, EyesUp, SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Experts share their discoveries [video]
100
Caretaking - What is it all about?
Margalis Fjelstad, PhD
Blame - why we do it?
Brené Brown, PhD
Family dynamics matter.
Alan Fruzzetti, PhD
A perspective on BPD
Ivan Spielberg, PhD
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: What did your BPD partner need from you?  (Read 429 times)
Educated_Guess
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 138



« on: September 08, 2018, 04:17:40 PM »

The switch from idealization to devaluation tends to be triggered when you are no longer supplying something the pwBPD needs.  I’ve been contemplating what my ex needed from me and what I stopped supplying that triggered the devaluation/discard phase.  Here are some examples:

- She needed me for financial support and a home.  Months before the breakup, I asked her to get a part time job(which she never did).

- She needed me to encourage her and compliment her.  I never stopped doing that.

- She needed to be chased.  I chased after her affection and attention constantly and she always kept me just out of reach.  I got tired of it a couple of months before the breakup.  I decided I was not going to be the only one in the relationship to reach out.  I mirrored back as much affection as she chose to show me.

- She needed someone else to make the decisions.  I never really stopped doing that but that was more because decisions had to be made.

- She needed someone to be as obsessively engaged in her interests as she was.  I don’t think I ever really was good at that.  I can’t get so obsessed with something like a tv show that I live vicariously through the characters of that show.

- She needed to live in a fantasy.  This is closely related to the one above.  In the beginning, the fantasy was us and I bought into that completely.  When the fantasy of “us” could no longer sustain, she became consumed by external fantasies.

What did your pwBPD need from you?  How did you meet those needs?  Did you stop meeting those needs and, if so, how did that impact the relationship?
Logged

BreatheFirst
**
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 58


« Reply #1 on: September 08, 2018, 04:55:19 PM »

I think there were a lot of things but one that comes to mind was needing me to be the dutiful partner at home doing all the work, running the household, looking after the kids, etc. But most importantly someone who did not challenge or confront him. Be wanted control I think.

Great thread, btw. Given me lots to consider about why it ended and he left.
Logged
once removed
BOARD ADMINISTRATOR
**
Online Online

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 12608



« Reply #2 on: September 08, 2018, 05:16:58 PM »

The switch from idealization to devaluation tends to be triggered when you are no longer supplying something the pwBPD needs.  
... .
- She needed to be chased.  I chased after her affection and attention constantly and she always kept me just out of reach.  I got tired of it a couple of months before the breakup.  I decided I was not going to be the only one in the relationship to reach out.  I mirrored back as much affection as she chose to show me.

it is true, pwBPD traits are, generally speaking, very needy. hate themselves for having needs. project self hatred upon loved ones. may feel slave to, and/or trapped by the needs of others as well as their own.

i think the picture of the breakdown is bigger than the idealization/devaluation from our partners, and i think its something both parties struggle with.

relationships thrive or breakdown in various stages, most frequently after the honeymoon period of a relationship, or the power struggle stage of a relationship. breakdown is characterized by growing apart, distrust, unresolvable/protracted conflict, followed by resentment, disdain, contempt. stalemate.

you and i are both fans of gottman. you might appreciate this piece that breaks it down: https://bpdfamily.com/content/your-relationship-breaking-down

my ex and i did fight a lot. nearly every day. some of it was resolvable. but our breakdown did boil down to unresolvable conflict (frankly, on one hand i need a relationship with far less conflict than that, though i recognize i created a great deal of it on my own with pouting and being difficult). we had irreconcilable differences in our values, and some of them we fought about more than others (our religious differences were huge, though not a consistent, major source of conflict), and we both distanced as a result in our own ways. i tended to see distancing myself as a way to regulate myself, protect myself, get my way, keep the bad out and the good in. often times, she responded with clinging, which i reacted to by distancing more, though unbeknownst to me at the time, she had a lot of hurt and resentment boiling under the surface.

she needed more relationship security and reassurance than i was able or willing to provide. that applies in so many ways, from her insecurities, to her jealousy, to the fact that i was frequently not "all in" or emotionally available, the fact that i went outside the relationship and did little to atone for it, the fact that she needed more transparency and time together where i have a pretty high need for privacy and alone time, the fact that she had a high sex drive and need for intimacy, especially when i was most distant, she needed to at least move in the direction of marriage, which i would only pay lip service to, and was never going to follow through with, couldnt see following through with, she needed someone that didnt respond with impatience and contempt and belittling to her needs/insecurities/dysregulation/raging.

sure, i met some of those needs, some of the time, as she met mine. fundamentally, we were at a stalemate that loomed and grew over our nearly three years. she was very unhappy toward the end, and we had pretty much reached the point of no return when she crossed some lines i couldnt come back from. rather than break up with her, i retreated completely, checked out, and she looked for and found someone else.
Logged

     and I think it's gonna be all right; yeah; the worst is over now; the mornin' sun is shinin' like a red rubber ball…
MeandThee29
******
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced
Posts: 977


« Reply #3 on: September 08, 2018, 08:17:49 PM »

Mine was high-need. He wanted complete and utter devotion, no matter how badly he treated me. It was like he was testing me to see just how far I'd go. He'd verbally burn every emotional bridge in sight and then want to go on as if nothing happened. Of course I had to start walling him off in order to deal with that, and he would spin up that I wasn't engaged.

At one point in separation he said that our primary problem was that I didn't make his happiness my primary focus 24/7.

If I went to the store or gym with one of our children, he felt insecure. If I was late coming back from errands, he felt insecure. If I was away visiting my family even for an eldercare issue or funeral, he felt insecure.

Frankly it is a relief to just deal with low-need people. Our children (young adults) are quite happy with just chatting at dinner and a text or so during the day. They enjoy talking with me and are appreciative in a low-key way. I have friends I see every week, and others once or twice a month, and they never complain about my time. Same with my relatives. What a concept!
Logged
Turkish
BOARD ADMINISTRATOR
**
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
Relationship status: "Divorced"/abandoned by SO in Feb 2013; Mother with BPD, PTSD, Depression and Anxiety: RIP in 2021.
Posts: 12105


Dad to my wolf pack


« Reply #4 on: September 08, 2018, 11:20:20 PM »

She needed the love she never received from her parents.  Her often absent,  cheating and arbitrage father, and emotionally incestuous mother who used her daughter to meet her needs.

It was very much a Daddy-Daughter dynamic. All of the physical and logistical things here were a given,  in addition to expecting me to manage her emotions.

That I chose to get into such a r/s is solely on me.  

Speaking of idealization,  I came across this quote from When Parents Make Children Their Partners - Kenneth M. Adams, PhD

[children]Sitting on a pedestal represents being loved for what they can provide their parent, not for who they are.

I never felt loved for who I was.  Being the child of a pwBPD,  I sought out a similarly emotionally unavailable partner, because that was all that I knew. I put her on a pedestal as well,  the one where I sought to meet her needs at the expense of my own.  Resentment was the natural resultant feeling on both of our parts,  as well as guilt.  

I've observed the guilt here for many years:

I've done everything he or she needs and it wasn't enough.  

And:

What could I have done better?
Logged

    “For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.” ― Rudyard Kipling
Struggler123
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 285


« Reply #5 on: September 09, 2018, 01:17:31 AM »

There’s so much wisdom in the words of some of the members here, because rather then say things like “My ex was horrible etc.” They tell how their ex or significant other, was different and how these differences were ultimately unhealthy which is the respectful way to walk out of a relationship.

Back to the thread, i’m not sure how to answer the question and I suppose thats what made me comment on this thread. Did she want someone to take care of all her needs? Sure. Did she want a friend? I suppose. Did she want someone that would listen to her 24/7 no matter what the time was? Sure. But, in some aspects it was my fault too for not setting up healthy boundaries. In the fear that, if I don’t cater to her needs that we will break up and the push and pull dynamics. And despite, doing all of that, it ultimately came to the biggest need, the need for marriage and security? Would that have filled the void that had no relation, probably not. But, it was the one thing that was held over my head until the very end. And I suppose, when all was said and done, and I actually stood my grounds. She went to someone that gave her what she needed. Was it an impulsive decison? Could be. But at the end, it all comes down to one essential line that takes a long time to accept. “Someone with BPD will never allow anyone else’s needs to come before there’s.” Their needs matter and your needs don’t, unless your needs cater in their needs, you’ll just be left behind trying to figure out what just happened... .
Logged

HopelessBroken
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 144



« Reply #6 on: September 09, 2018, 05:04:36 PM »

This is a great thread.

He needed (and these are his words, not me guessing)

1. To be my number one priorority at every moment
2. To be my everything and put him above everyone else and everything else
3. To have sex every day
4. To immediately shut down any contact with any man always, automatically ( waiter in a restaurant, male coworker etc)
5. To attend every event, dinner, weekend away, errand running with him
6.  To physically compliment him consistently including his male parts
7. To talk negatively about any other man I’ve had a relationship with
8. To be very affectionate always, private and in public
9. To be dependent on him but not too dependent
10. To be consistently vulnerable with him and trust him to tell my most intimate secrets to (despite throwing in my face when mad)
11. To talk and text constantly and always know where I was


I could keep going... .
Logged

I’m not hopeless or broken anymore, instead I’m pretty hopeful and pieced back together with some really strong glue.
MeandThee29
******
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced
Posts: 977


« Reply #7 on: September 09, 2018, 05:18:15 PM »

She needed the love she never received from her parents.  Her often absent,  cheating and arbitrage father, and emotionally incestuous mother who used her daughter to meet her needs.

Speaking of idealization,  I came across this quote from When Parents Make Children Their Partners - Kenneth M. Adams, PhD

[children]Sitting on a pedestal represents being loved for what they can provide their parent, not for who they are.

I never felt loved for who I was.  Being the child of a pwBPD,  I sought out a similarly emotionally unavailable partner, because that was all that I knew. I put her on a pedestal as well,  the one where I sought to meet her needs at the expense of my own.  Resentment was the natural resultant feeling on both of our parts,  as well as guilt.  

I've observed the guilt here for many years:

I've done everything he or she needs and it wasn't enough.  

And:

What could I have done better?

Interesting observations.

Mine's father travelled most of the time, and my pwBPD ended up serving as a surrogate father to his younger siblings and did most of the household things that fathers do as well. I always felt like there was some resentment towards his mother. She definitely seemed to value him for taking on some of his father's duties more than for being an individual. When we were dating, she couldn't stop telling me about all of the things he did for her when he was growing up and how hard it was when he moved away in his 30's. It made me uncomfortable.

Now as the mother of a young adult son, I get that you have to watch the line. He is not my spouse, and I don't share much of my personal struggles with him for that reason. He knows when I'm tired and/or frustrated, but he doesn't hear my emotional battles over our situation or my doubts and fears. That isn't his job.
Logged
HopelessBroken
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 144



« Reply #8 on: September 09, 2018, 05:38:04 PM »

I forgot the most frequently expressed need... .

To express an extreme amount of emotions on a daily basis.
Logged

I’m not hopeless or broken anymore, instead I’m pretty hopeful and pieced back together with some really strong glue.
bus boy
******
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 908


« Reply #9 on: September 10, 2018, 11:10:26 AM »

My ex wife needed very specific promises made from me. Her most pressing one was we were never having children until I made a promise that if we have children that they will never be allowed near my family. That was the whole family package, no bdays, no Xmas no Easter on nothing ever, other things she obsessed about was being protected she was always going on about me having to be there 100% 100% of the time. Ex wife always told me we could never have a family because I was never there for her and I didn't know how to protect her.
  Ex wife woke me out of my sleep one night, said she heard a noise, I woke up, took a second to clear the cob webs and she started into me being a coward. The whole thing really was bizarre and I use to drive myself crazy trying to figure out what I had to do to proove I was there for her and to figure out exactly what that meant. I actually did loose my mind, I almost had a complete mental breakdown.
  In doing everything I could do or what I thought a good husband does, ex wife would say don't bother being there for me now, you never were before and that would set me off into another world of what am I doing wrong? Very many times I would be told how horrible of a person in was. For the past 3 years ex wife has a BF in her life so everyday I get a bit better.
Logged
Insom
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 680



« Reply #10 on: September 10, 2018, 12:10:20 PM »

A problem I had in my relationship with my ex was that his needs often felt louder to me than my own.

What made a relationship like that - where it was became "job" to attend to my partner's needs at the expense of my own - attractive to me in the first place?  What did I get out of that experience?  What kept me in it for so long?
Logged

XSurvivorX
**
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 64


« Reply #11 on: September 10, 2018, 02:05:53 PM »

This really is an interesting thread.  Helpless, it sounds like our p'swBPD were cut from the same cloth.  This intense desire to have me all to herself was like, the need to have a pet canary or something.  In a little cage, so I could sing for her whenever she wanted.

Bu tin terms of what my ex dBPDw needed, well that may be another story. I'm not entirely sure that what she needed, and what she needed from me always correlated to one another.   Things I know as much of:

- She needed to feel loved, and needed to feel secure (i.e. not abandoned)
- She needed some sort of love, affection and attention from a father figure
- She needed someone she could absolutely trust (unconditional, one-way trust)
- She needed to have some sense of control of her life, and of herself (yet she never knew who she was)
- She needed to constantly be with someone; she always had to be in a relationship
- She may have emotionally needed other things, but the aforementioned are the most prominent one I recall or could discern.

What were things stipulated of me?
- She was to be the only person I loved and needed
- She was to receive my %100 undivided attention
- I should forsake my friends and family for her, as I needed no one else
- I should never engage with any female (friend, coworker, waitress etc.)
- I was to aid or assist her with every issue, problem, or chore she had (the number of times she would get enraged at something, and then scream "fix it!" at me when I would ask her what she wanted me to do about it). I mean this one got carried out of hand, all the time.  Her medicaid would run out because she didn't mail in a change of address form or something else in time, and then when she lacked coverage for her health needs she would demand I fix it.  What was I supposed to do? Well, I was supposed to fill out a new set of paperwork for her and march it right down to the welfare office and demand that they turn it back on right now because they never should have turned her coverage off in the first place (her point of view).
- I was supposed to agree with her all the time (dissenting or differing opinions were forbidden)
- I was to follow her dreams and goals, and help make those come true at the cost of my own
- I was told that I was going to provide her a child, despite my telling her from early on that I did not want children
- I was to "stand up to my family" if they ever questioned her (until I had completely abandoned them)
- I was to dress the way she wanted me to look etc. etc.

What did she ultimately get from me?

- She got financial stability (career student meets mid-careerist)
- She got someone she could exert some level of control over
- She got some sense of affection or love, or longing (attention)
- She got some sense of stability (quickly moved in together, then married for more security)
- She got to let her fantasy (as E_D puts it) play out at the expense of someone else
- She got someone who enabled her to support her recreational (then routine) opioid habit

I'm not sure if I can directly correlate the switch from idealization to devaluation as a lack of, or noticed decrease in any of these. I noticed a major shift when she moved in with me.  The idealization faded, the niceties were only when it was convenient for her, or part of what she wanted (i.e. she would buy me a "gift" or something for the house she knew she wanted or would use often).  The devaluation came I guess when she saw I was still giving my friends attention and time (calling, texting, visiting etc.)  And well, when all of that became too much I did leave her; I said "enough of this $&!# and I packed up and left one day. She did not take this well, and I immediately took her back and returned that night, but life was far, far different every minuet from there on.

So maybe that was it right there. When I made her fears come true (abandonment) based on the way she treated me in attempts to push me away and sabotage the relationship, I failed to provide her that sense of trust.  And that's when I was painted black for years.
Logged
earlyL
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 176

Formerly known as "Louise Wilson"


« Reply #12 on: September 10, 2018, 07:17:03 PM »

 One of the first things my ex dBPD said to me when I confronted my ex partner about her affair was - 'I don't need you anymore' it broke my heart but I also remember feeling incredibly calm because it felt like it made sense. I always knew that my ex partner needed me more than I needed her and when I am honest with myself, I know that it had started to get to me in everyday life. I felt like I was always there to fix things and do the chores. She was supportive of me, but not in the same way, I always thought it was just one of those compromises but towards the end I know I started to switch off, I felt like it was more of a job than a relationship. Then her finding someone else to meet her needs, it just seemed so childish, like being in the playground.

I've gone through so much guilt and anger about the situation, I do still wish things had been different and I miss her incredibly, but I think the story would have played out the same at some point. I think she would have noticed me start to withdraw, and although the pain of watching her with someone else was horrific, I am able now to hope that the two of them suit each other better. I know that I don't want to feel needed, wanted, yes absolutely, but not needed like that, i felt like I was the carer.

 
Logged

toughday

*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 40


« Reply #13 on: September 12, 2018, 01:13:42 PM »

My exBPDgf needed just two things love and support. Endless, non-stop, never ending, limitless support. She was like a black hole. And the support would have to continue even when she was being abusive or mean and pushing me away. If i didn't meet this need i was a bad person who clearly didn't care about her and just thought about myself.
No matter how much support i gave her it was never ever enough and if i stopped at any time because i was dealing with my own problems i would find out about it very quickly. We were never a team it was her and i was her support team. that was it. There dramas she needed the support for were never ending. Some she coulddn't controi like family ilness and her own conditions but she would constantly fall out with her family and despite me thinking that she was being horrible i would have to take her side.
As time passed the relentless abuse and compassion fatigue wore me down and my support began to waiver. I also started to become quite depressed and this was when she discarded me as i could no longer give her what she needed. I always knew that if anything happened to me, say if i became ill and needed looking after there is no way she would have been able to. The compassion and support could only go one way.
Logged
loyalwife
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: married
Posts: 197



« Reply #14 on: September 12, 2018, 01:46:23 PM »

The dynamics of living with someone with BPD does mean sacrifice. It simply comes down to understanding that in their world all that matters is themselves.

Excerpt
But at the end, it all comes down to one essential line that takes a long time to accept. “Someone with BPD will never allow anyone else’s needs to come before there’s.” Their needs matter and your needs don’t, unless your needs cater in their needs, you’ll just be left behind trying to figure out what just happened... .

It's taken me a long time to understand the triggers that occur in my marriage. He says something like, "You put your son ahead of me"; "Every time I have a project we are working on you take off". Unless I am here, in the house waiting for him to give me directions, I'm a 'bad girl'.  This has been a repeat and that is how he feels. After the last go around he said "Are you going to be good from now on?".  I get repulsed by this as I know the only way that he fills his needs are met is if there is someone to fulfill them. 

I do believe that they need us, but not in the same way that we need them. Sad but true, their needs come first and if there is time and "you are good", then perhaps you will get a bone or two.  I've come to a point in my life that I need little so that makes it easier.
Logged

***Kind regards***
*****always*****
        Loyalwife
BasementDweller
****
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 446



« Reply #15 on: September 13, 2018, 04:58:13 AM »

Sadly, I never knew what he needed. I am not sure if he did either. I tried in vain to figure it out, and give him anything and everything that any other man I had a relationship with always appreciated and never complained about. It wasn't good enough, and it was never right. If I asked what he needed, he'd give me a list of contradictory and arcane tasks that even if I could figure out how to do it all at once it still wasn't enough. In the end he "needed" to be alone, so he said. So I left, and he's angry with me for that. I still can't get it right, it seems! 
Logged

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor Roosevelt
SerendipityChild
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 144


« Reply #16 on: September 13, 2018, 05:41:48 PM »

- She needed me for financial support and a home.  Months before the breakup, I asked her to get a part time job(which she never did).

- She needed me to encourage her and compliment her.  I never stopped doing that.

- She needed to be chased.  I chased after her affection and attention constantly and she always kept me just out of reach.  I got tired of it a couple of months before the breakup.  I decided I was not going to be the only one in the relationship to reach out.  I mirrored back as much affection as she chose to show me.

- She needed someone else to make the decisions.  I never really stopped doing that but that was more because decisions had to be made.

- She needed someone to be as obsessively engaged in her interests as she was.  I don’t think I ever really was good at that.  I can’t get so obsessed with something like a tv show that I live vicariously through the characters of that show.

- She needed to live in a fantasy.  This is closely related to the one above.  In the beginning, the fantasy was us and I bought into that completely.  When the fantasy of “us” could no longer sustain, she became consumed by external fantasies.

Hi EducatedGuess.
All of the above is something I would have exactly written, just replace She with a He and her with a his
Hope you are doing well. I've missed ya
Logged
loyalwife
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: married
Posts: 197



« Reply #17 on: September 15, 2018, 06:33:05 PM »

So after months (years) of approaching my husband about making a will, to protect 'me' if God forbid something happens to him, he is acting as though he is being sabotaged. I am not on any of the titles (house, car, bank account, credit accounts) so, this would allow me to continue on if something catastrophic should happen. On numerous occasions he has voiced what he wanted and that if something happened to both of us, then the kids (his and mine) should have equal inheritance. I downloaded on an online form and handed it to him to read and decide what needed changing. He said "I don't feel comfortable with your son having anything of mine". Okay, then I will change it. "I don't feel like my daughter should be there either". Okay, what do you want?  "I want to leave it to charity, I'll have to think of which one I want". Not a word about what I want because, well we all know it is all his. I am devastated, as there are many things I'd like my kids to have if I should leave this world. Am I being unthoughtful? He said he felt like he was being hustled by me asking for him to sign a will.
 
As I have said, I don't ask for much. I have never known anyone as suspicious of me, or that holds onto anger that is displaced. He hates my son, I get it. But to leave all of our estate to a charity is beyond my understanding.

I just want to forget the whole thing, it isn't worth it. I am crushed though that he doesn't
that it is I who needs the security and that the possibility of us both dying at the same time would be unusual (but does happen). I feel so unimportant. Just sad that he says he will and that it does, and then changes his mind at the drop of a dime and refuses. His thinking changes from day to day and it usually involves false stories about my son and that I am conspiring against him. He says he's uncomfortable.  I'm really uneasy.
Logged

***Kind regards***
*****always*****
        Loyalwife
Turkish
BOARD ADMINISTRATOR
**
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
Relationship status: "Divorced"/abandoned by SO in Feb 2013; Mother with BPD, PTSD, Depression and Anxiety: RIP in 2021.
Posts: 12105


Dad to my wolf pack


« Reply #18 on: September 15, 2018, 08:00:15 PM »

"Failure to provide" might be illegal if the kids are minors, and it might be for you, who wouldn't have time to do a probate court battle.  You might want to consult with a lawyer or start on avvo.com by asking the question. 
Logged

    “For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.” ― Rudyard Kipling
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!