Hello Yaz
I would like to join
wendydarling in welcoming you here
I am so sorry to hear of what you are going through with your 22 year old son, it must be extremely frustrating and difficult for you.
You say that your son refuses to go to therapy, does that mean that he has received a BPD diagnosis?
What about your husband? You say that he is extremely depressed about your son, has he sought any help?
There are lots of resources here that you can use to help you in communicating with your son, you will find them to the right
Hope to hear more from you Yaz x