Guilty! Like I am giving up on her.
FOG--fear, obligation and guilt. Have you read this link?
https://bpdfamily.com/content/emotional-blackmail-fear-obligation-and-guilt-fogWhen she is acting healthy and fair she is the most beautiful human inside and out and has so much love to offer (probably because of the contrast of long-term/repeated childhood sexual and physical abuse).
Yes, typical pwBPD. That's why we continue to stay with them, despite their awful behavior.
I feel helpless. Like if she does give in and goes it's going to be for me and not for herself.
Of course she doesn't want to get help. She thinks the problems originate in other people, namely you.
I completely understand why she doesn't want to go get help. She was locked in a hospital by her abuser for over a year as a child. I cant imagine the stuff that this woman has been through.
And if it wasn't that, she'd have another reason why she didn't seek help. Yes, of course she's had trauma, but that is no excuse for behaving the way she does.
She deserves such a good life.
Don't you deserve a good life as well?
I feel like I should just be selfless and deal with her BS and just show her a tremendous amount of love and sacrifice my own well being. However, it's really taking a huge toll on my life, my businesses, my kids (from an EX) lives (who she doesn't see much at all )
And where did you get this belief? And how is this impacting your children? And your business? And your health? And your emotional equilibrium?