I am on the edge here, and we have a 4.5 yr old

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BPDFamily.com > Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) > Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup > Topic: I am on the edge here, and we have a 4.5 yr old

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Topic: I am on the edge here, and we have a 4.5 yr old (Read 558 times)

kewoo

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 1

I am on the edge here, and we have a 4.5 yr old

« on: December 13, 2018, 05:05:26 AM »

Oh dear god please help.

I love my wife. She is amazing in so many ways. She is also full-on BPD (diagnosed decades ago and completely ignorant of the impact and the need for treatment) and treats me like a punching bag. The imbalance is so intense that I am on the edge here, and we have a 4.5 yr old. I know that this will never go away, as we are legally attached even if we divorce. How the hell do you manage?


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Bnonymous

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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
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« Reply #1 on: December 13, 2018, 05:11:41 AM »

Hi kewoo,

I'm glad you found us. Members here will understand the challenges you're facing in your relationship and you'll get lots of support here.

You say your wife treats you like a punchbag - do you mean that literally (domestic violence) or do you mean it metaphorically/emotionally?


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"You remind me of someone who is looking through a closed window and cannot explain to himself the strange movements of a passer-by. He doesn’t know what kind of a storm is raging outside and that this person is perhaps only with great effort keeping himself on his feet." - Ludwig Wittgenstein

Harri

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Re: I am on the edge here, and we have a 4.5 yr old

« Reply #2 on: December 13, 2018, 02:59:24 PM »

Welcome new member (click to insert in post)

I am joining Bnonymous in saying welcome to the site. Like she said you will get lots of support here.

Can you tell us a bit more about your story? What is the biggest issue you would like to work on or want help with? How is your wife with your child?

I hope you share more as you get comfortable and jump in and start posting in threads. We are a peer support group and help each other learn better ways of coping.


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Yellowpearl

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 195

Re: I am on the edge here, and we have a 4.5 yr old

« Reply #3 on: December 13, 2018, 04:18:09 PM »

Hey there kewoo!

I'd like to join Bnonymous and Harri in welcoming you to this site. I definitely can understand the struggle of feeling so loving toward your BPD yet feeling like they are taking so much out of you or focusing on their own needs too much. I'll let you respond to the others' questions so we can learn more about your relationship and I just wanted to chime in and say I hope your situation gets better!


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Re: I am on the edge here, and we have a 4.5 yr old

« Reply #4 on: December 13, 2018, 11:43:01 PM »

Quote from: kewoo on December 13, 2018, 05:05:26 AM

How the hell do you manage?

with a strong support system, some tools to help you cope, and with some tools to help you find areas you can improve on with the relationship. ive seen some of the worst case scenarios turned around, so there is hope.

tell us more. whats going on in your relationship right now?


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