Packing up his stuff

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Did anyone do this with ex's belongings?  Am I allowed to do this (not getting rid of it, just trying to make some order in my house and putting his things in boxes).  I know I could call my lawyer, but I am not too happy with them right now and don't feel like being charged $100.00 for a 5 minute question.

He moved out in June, I served him in July.  Our divorce will be final in exactly one month.  He had alllll this time that he could have come over and packed his stuff, even if he couldn't take it with him yet.  I told him he has three weeks to do it, or I am going to do it.  He claims I cannot.  I don't see why I would not be allowed to.  It's in MY house.  I want to do it because A. there is a good chance he will never do it.  The two times we moved when we were together, I did all the packing.  B. He has a LOT of stuff, and I do not want him here for a long time packing it all up.  C. I especially do not want him to think he can pack it up on moving day, when there will likely be several of his friends and family all over my house, in different places so I can't keep tabs on what's going (he's been a complete jerk through all of this, so I am holding him to his very short list of things he said he wants and his personal items, so I want to make sure nobody packs up something he doesn't have permission to take).

I'll leave you with this gem... .we've been together for 11 years (married for 8) and I thought I always had a good relationship with his family... .they are also grandparents/aunts and uncles to our D4.  So as I always did, I sent them all Christmas cards (signed my name but the pics on the card is D4 and the dog, I wasn't in the pics).  I did not get a single card from anyone in his family.  He tells me today that my sending cards was a "dick move".  Um, what?  I can see how maybe some think I shouldn't have or didn't have to send one, but I figured it was better to be the bigger person, because I am sure if they all sent cards and I didn't, then he would have said that was wrong too.  But wth?  How is it a bad thing to send a lovely christmas card of our child?

[WantToBeFree]

Did anyone do this with ex's belongings?  Am I allowed to do this (not getting rid of it, just trying to make some order in my house and putting his things in boxes).  I know I could call my lawyer, but I am not too happy with them right now and don't feel like being charged $100.00 for a 5 minute question.

He moved out in June, I served him in July.  Our divorce will be final in exactly one month.  He had alllll this time that he could have come over and packed his stuff, even if he couldn't take it with him yet.  I told him he has three weeks to do it, or I am going to do it.  He claims I cannot.  I don't see why I would not be allowed to.  It's in MY house.  I want to do it because A. there is a good chance he will never do it.  The two times we moved when we were together, I did all the packing.  B. He has a LOT of stuff, and I do not want him here for a long time packing it all up.  C. I especially do not want him to think he can pack it up on moving day, when there will likely be several of his friends and family all over my house, in different places so I can't keep tabs on what's going (he's been a complete jerk through all of this, so I am holding him to his very short list of things he said he wants and his personal items, so I want to make sure nobody packs up something he doesn't have permission to take).

I'll leave you with this gem... .we've been together for 11 years (married for 8) and I thought I always had a good relationship with his family... .they are also grandparents/aunts and uncles to our D4.  So as I always did, I sent them all Christmas cards (signed my name but the pics on the card is D4 and the dog, I wasn't in the pics).  I did not get a single card from anyone in his family.  He tells me today that my sending cards was a "dick move".  Um, what?  I can see how maybe some think I shouldn't have or didn't have to send one, but I figured it was better to be the bigger person, because I am sure if they all sent cards and I didn't, then he would have said that was wrong too.  But wth?  How is it a bad thing to send a lovely christmas card of our child?

[Red5]

I'll leave you with this gem... .we've been together for 11 years (married for 8) and I thought I always had a good relationship with his family... .they are also grandparents/aunts and uncles to our D4.  So as I always did, I sent them all Christmas cards (signed my name but the pics on the card is D4 and the dog, I wasn't in the pics).  I did not get a single card from anyone in his family.

Whoa WantToBeFree!... .that's my line too!... .eleven years together, and eight married!

And same here, her FOO came here to my house with trucks and trailers and moved her outa here on a Saturday, and a Sunday... .it was awful... .

I offered to pay movers, but she wouldn't have it... .must be a shame thing?

And like you, as soon as they got "wind", .me and my kids got ghosted... .I guess it did not matter to them that she beat my kid in his noggin... .ugh ; (

I did not get a single card from anyone in his family.

Me2... .

I even saw my (step) BIL in the local diner a few days later, and he acted like he did not even see me, almost cranked his neck trying to avoid eye cntact  ... .

It wasn't but a few weeks prior to this, that me and him went fishing, at night, and for the entire nine hours, he could not stop telling me how much of a b@atch his wife is, and this and that, and how he has been making time with the secretaries daughter who is in her twenties... .I said nothing to uBPDw when I got back home that night, as this is her sister and all... .and not but three weeks later, my marriage implodes... .BIL and uBPDw's sis have been married for thirty-years!

They don't have any children... .anyways... .wow,

And yes, you can pack up your "H's" gear, its called "house cleaning"... .my uBPDw took everything pretty much she wanted, I encouraged it... .but having her entire "male FOO" here moving it all, both BIL's... .two nephews, and her sister#2... that was weird... .

... .both the other sisters have their husbands under complete subjugation... .

I guess that is why the one I went fishing with makes time with the boss's secretary's daughter... ... .because he told me he hasn't gotten any (sex) from her (uBPDw's sister) for years now... .wow... .none of my business, certainly not... .but not quite sure why he told me all about it... and then he "ghosts me"... .and is forced to help his SIL move out... .too funny, .but its not,

What a mess... .

Hang in there WantToBeFree,

Yeah, eleven and eight are my numbers too,

Red5

[once removed]

what about putting it in storage, with a deadline?

[Lucky Jim]

How is it a bad thing to send a lovely christmas card of our child?

Hey WantToBe, No, it's not a bad thing to take the high road, so I suggest you ignore his critical commentary.  You are in a No-Win situation, as you note, because you would likely have heard about it if you didn't send cards.

I have a saying: "Poison is harmless if you don't ingest it."  Suggest you decline to give any credence to his comment.

LJ

[Mutt]

Hi WantToBeFree,

What did you end up doing with his stuff?