In a few weeks, my wife will be in court and the protection order that is currently in place will most likely remain through the 18 month probation.
They have asked me how I want the protection order to be set up, and for now, my daughter and I want it to remain digital only. The question I still need to answer is living arrangements.
A little background... .before all of this DV started, we had plans to sell the house and remodel and move to the cabin. Our flatland home is far too big and costly to maintain now that all the kids are gone. Now with the arrest and PO put in place, the plans are on hold.
I am contemplating over one of the following as a response to the PO:
- I remain at house, she stays at cabin
- We swap locations
- One of us looks (likely her) for something else
Here is why I am so conflicted:
- The house is too big for either of us.
- For her to go to counseling, it would be much easier for her to be in the city
- My job is one that can be done remotely, so I could work from the cabin. Although that means I would not be at the office to manage people.
- She is more comfortable being at the house alone than in the mountains alone
- She can maintain the cleaning and things inside, but has always relied on me for any repairs and outside maintenance. She can't do the field mowing with the garden tractor, weeding, garden maintenance, lawn, window cleaning (requires tall ladder) etc. etc.
- I, and perhaps she does as well, still want to sell the house, and if that is the case, the prep work needs to be done (drywall repairs, tile, flooring, etc).
Or, do I tell them I would like her to get an apartment. She would not have to worry about maintenance, the house could be prepped, and she could be in the city. It would now just add to our costs.
Also, does having her go to an apartment make her accountable for her actions or does it make me unsupportive?
Thoughts? Suggestions?
