Recovery for assault on me over the Christmas period

[neworder]

Hello All

My partner was arrested for assault on me over the Christmas period. The relationship ended that night (after all of 31 weeks). He totally Love Bombed me and even convinced an entire community that he was a decent chap... .we all feel betrayed & utterly confused as to when & how he arrived in our lives! I have, in the last two weeks researched his behaviours and all the symptoms of BPD are there in totality. He moves from woman to woman (always with their own houses & families) gets engaged to them within weeks etc. I'm unsure as to how these relationships ended but I can guess. I do know that the lady he was seeing before myself he was violent towards but she dropped charges against him because she was co-dependent (Both are alcoholics). I guess I'm here because I'm feeling emotionally in turmoil. The problem I am experiencing most is that I am an intelligent & formidable woman and yet this ___ managed to use my empthatic nature to invade my life. I feel ashamed that I let him into my body and am literally feeling like I've been sexually abused by him. I don't know how to feel right now... .am taking him to court because god knows what his criminal record is but if it's me that get's him caught for domestic violence then I am fine with that... .I've been given the nod that there is probably a long list of victims. Any advice would be gratefully received, as people keep awarding me with messages of you are strong & well done for surviving this, but the people saying this are not privvy to the fact that I now know he has BPD. By that I am making no excuses for him whatsoever, it's just that I now know this & am feeling alone in it & trying to compute it personally into how move forward from this terrible experience

[Mindfried]

Hello New Order,

Knowing he has BPD do you have it in your heart to forgive him and move on from him? Is it possible for you to take the high road for this horrible situation? Maybe looking at this horrible situation from a different persepective will help you move on in a better place. I am sorry that you had to go through something like that. You need a hug and an empathetic and compassionate ear to listen.

[Mutt]

Hi Neworder,



Id like to join Mindfried Nd welcome you to bpdfamily. I’m soory for the circumstances that led you to this site learning that someone that you were with could have BPD can feel scary.

Read as much as you can about the disorder from accredited sources. You’ll quockly see the benefits and become proficient over time.

I want to echo Mindfried toute not alone it helps to talk to others that are in a similar situation. I’d also suggest to talk to a T ( Therapist ) Talkiing to a group and getting individual therapy in real life is going to help a lot.

Im sorry for how things ended. Is there a court date?