I believe my 17 year old son may be a Borderline

[colormepolly]

I was led to this thread in 2008 by my therapist, my husband of thirteen years was borderline. I left eventually as I could not live in the chaotic whirlwind of crazy any longer. We have been divorced over ten years. I basically raised my three kids alone and now the only one left in the house is my 17 year old son. I did not want to think this could be true but I feel like I am living with my husband again. All the signs have been there in the background, all along, however it is recently that out of sheer exhaustion I am realizing that it is an all to familiar feeling and I do not know what to do. You cannot just divorce your child.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Only Human]

Hi colormepolly 

Although I'm sorry for what brought you back here, I'm glad you reached out for support as you cope with behaviors in your son that bring back feelings of living with your ex again. I can relate to not wanting to believe what I think I know - My DD25 was diagnosed when she was 17 and I rejected the diagnosis from the start after reading less-than-encouraging articles on the internet.

A lot has changed in the past ten years in regards to what the experts know about BPD and BPD Family is an excellent resource for keeping up with new developments. We are all learning together how to navigate these intense relationships. I'm glad you're here - you don't have to do this alone 

What are the behaviors you are struggling with the most in your DS (dear son)?

~ OH

[Huat]

Hi Colormepolly.  Let me join Only Human in welcoming you here.

Wow!  To think this forum was up and running in... .2008!... .is mind-boggling.  Just think how many people have been helped... .and have others... .along the way on this wonderful forum.

You have been through this already with your ex-husband and now you see the same traits in your son.  So, sorry!  Well, for sure this is a whole different relationship.  You can't divorce your son but you sure can work on finding different methods in interacting with him.

Hopefully you have the support from your other two children.  That always helps.

Whatever, Colormepolly, you do and will have the support here as you continue on your journey with your son.  Not all is doom and gloom in this forum... .there are some heartwarming stories of success sprinkled in with the ones that are not so heartwarming.  Mainly, you can learn how to look after yourself... .work on becoming more empowered to set boundaries that just may, in the long run, help your son to cope with his illness.

Hoping to hear more from you, Colormepolly.  You certainly are not alone in this battle.  It is so nice to be able to "unload" on others who really do understand.

Huat