She told me in a fit that she tried to kill me a few times as a baby.

[hummingbird281]

My Nada cut me off again...Its so interesting to think about how much someone hurts you. My Nada has always been like this. When I was a kid, she would drop me off at family or friends so she wouldn't have to deal with me. She told me in a fit that she tried to kill me a few times as a baby. It is whatever sadly. Just kinda deal. I am sure you guys all know how it is. Trying to navigate it, keep a "relationship" and somehow keep your sanity.

[Harri]

Hi and welcome to the board.

Are there specific issues you would like to discuss?  Her trying to kill you as an infant and sharing that is certainly out there to say the least.  How did she share that information?

Look forward to hearing more from you.

[Skip]

Trying to navigate it, keep a "relationship" and somehow keep your sanity.

How is it going today?

[JNChell]

Hello, hummingbird281. Welcome to  bpdfamily. What reason did your mother give for cutting you off? Has this been a pattern?

I understand that you’re feeling hurt and confused while trying to maintain a relationship with your mother. If you’re comfortable, share some details with us. That will help us, help you.

[zachira]

You are brave and courageous to share with us that your Nada has told you she tried to kill you several times when you were a baby.  Sounds like she had postpartum and ongoing depression, and knew she could not care for you. The fact that she did try to get others to care for you may mean she recognized that she could not care for you and wanted you to be safe. What do you think? It still hurts your heart to hear something like this. You are trying to have a relationship with your Nada while dealing with her hurtful unpredictable behaviors. There are many members on this site who are struggling with the past and present impact of how their mother with BPD is. We are here to support you in any way we can. Please keep us posted and let us know how we can be the most helpful.

[cesk]

 

Goodness.  Have you considered cutting off or severely limiting contact? When I got really upset with my son a few times as a toddler or baby, I got help. Babies are trying, but bragging that she tried to kill you is a form of manipulation.  You DESERVE better treatment and have every right to cut out people that don't give it to you.  I don't mean this lightly. It is not easy. Just chew on the possibility that perhaps you don't deserve this, NEVER did, and may be able to make different choices about your exposure to this, as she is clearly not done with the abuse, even though you are no longer a helpless baby. 

[JNChell]

hummingbird281, what brought you here?