When do I know there can be no more?

[lonely38]

In need of advice with regard to my 61 year old BPD husband whom I have been married to for 39 years.  It feels like he has gone downhill mentally and emotionally for the last year and a half.  As he has shared with me that is very depressed, I can certainly see that is part of what is going on.

He is pointing the finger to me for pretty much everything.  I have been struggling to create boundaries with his emotional and verbal abuse.  I have told him this is what I am experiencing.  His words to me are that I have created a narrative or my own reality with regard to abuse.  He says he is not abusive toward me.  He says that I am off mentally and emotionally.  He says the only way we can turn things around in our marriage at this point is for me to let go of the 'narrative' that I have been abused by him.  He says he can see that I am stressed but this is all me and not him. 

I have tried everything I can think of to do and am running out of ideas.  His words are so far from reality.  If it were not so sad, it would be funny.  I am running on fumes at this point...

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.