I wish I could switch off my feelings like her.
she hasnt switched off her feelings, Pepperoni. quite the contrary.
shes hurt. to cope with that, shes slagging you.
have you ever been in a situation where you were rejected, and it stung, and maybe you told yourself something like "well im better off anyway, i didnt really like them that much", etc, told yourself bad things about them?
thats what shes doing here, just on an extreme level. its not unlike when you were saying you dodged a bullet, and playing out how youd reject her if she came back. you hadnt switched off your feelings. you were coping.
if what your friends are telling you hurts, i might ask them not to relay anything more. it doesnt help to hear it.
i think theres a pretty reasonable chance (not a certainty) that once some of the ice has thawed and shes vented the hurt, you may hear from her. most people, at the end of the day, dont like to end on such a bad note. she may even want to reverse the sense of rejection.
i think the question is what you want to do if that happens.