Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
October 18, 2019, 09:33:11 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Harri, Once Removed, Scarlet Phoenix
Senior Ambassadors: Cat Familiar, FaithHopeLove, I Am Redeemed, Mutt, Only Human, Turkish
Ambassadors: Enabler, formflier, GaGrl, Longterm, Ozzie101, Swimmy55, zachira
  Help!   Groups   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
Books members most read
The High
Conflict Couple
Loving Someone with
Borderline Personality Disorder
Loving the
Borderline Personality
Disorder Demystified

Pages: [1]   Go Down
Author Topic: Gaslighting  (Read 122 times)
Lola B

Offline Offline

Person in your life: Child
Posts: 30

« on: September 12, 2019, 06:11:00 PM »

This is not my first post, but I don't know how to post new ventings.

I feel a bit like I can't type the words because I shouldn't speak this way about my kid. And sometimes she is "normal". And sometimes she is a rage monster. And sometimes she is a vicious animal. And sometimes she's a liar and gaslighter.

I just caught her being all of the worst above qualities. She twisted my words to a friend so her parents treat me like I'm insane and dangerous, which is ironic. She gaslit me about what family says about me. My father encouraged me to get a restraining order against her but she is only 19 and her father is her first abandoner. There is another thing I'm forgetting because I have a brain injury due to her driving me home from work (because I gave her the car for the day since she was off from school) when we got T-boned and I ended up in hospitals for 3 months. She blames me for her senior year being ruined and her having to go through the trauma of her mom maybe dying alone. That is because all my friends and family members couldn't handle her. I have been recovering my cognition, memory, and body for almost 2 years while my BPD or complex trauma kid has gotten worse and worse.

There are no words to comfort me. My brain injury causes increased impulsivity, so I attempted to take my life when thinking about growing older with this lunatic that I sometimes love like my kid and sometimes shake my head and think this is a horror movie. It didn't succeed (obviously), and the meds for impulsivity and depression make me eat more than I'm used to or comfortable with because I have a lot of scar tissue in my guts because of the car accident.

So, I am broke, broken, brain-injured, unemployed awaiting disability appeal, in litigation, single and broken hearted, my body fails me and I'm getting heavy.

Work was how I felt productive and valuable, given my home life, and now I can't even drive. I've lost my network, most of my friends, she has scared away 2 former partners, and recently I attempted suicide (not around her) after relentless viciousness.

Short of a miracle, don't offer links or numbers, please. My family is insane but pitching in, I'm on meds and followed closely, kid is on meds, followed, and refuses to acknowledge BPD.

I am coming back as a dog with a giant bladder and a strong thirst so I can pee on everyone who I sense is an a$$.
Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Person in your life: Parent
Posts: 5019

« Reply #1 on: September 12, 2019, 08:30:19 PM »

Hi Lola. 

I can hear the frustration and sadness and the anger too.  I'm sitting here thinking of what a struggle it must be and how frustrating it must be for you.   It is okay to feel these feelings and express them about your daughter when you need to.  It can help as long as it is not ongoing right? 

I won't offer you links or numbers.   Smiling (click to insert in post)  What I will ask is for you to tell us how we can help you short of working a miracle as you said.

    “…we cannot be in the present moment and run our story lines at the same time!”

Offline Offline

Person in your life: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 41

« Reply #2 on: September 12, 2019, 09:07:34 PM »

Sorry to hear that. Your daughter is an adult now so your only option is involuntary commitment. I tried with my wife but she just lied and got released the same day and went right back to it. I know someone else in a situation like that with her adult daughter who blames everything on mom. My ex wife blames everything on me. You have to set boundaries and stick to them whatever you are comfortable with. That's really all you can do.
Senior Ambassador
Online Online

Person in your life: Child
Posts: 1219

« Reply #3 on: September 13, 2019, 12:42:02 AM »

Hi Lola
I join Harri in agreeing to respect your request not to send links or numbers and in standing by ready to offer any help or support that I can. You are not alone. People care.

Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2019?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
Jump to:  

Our 2020 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
Only Human
Wicker Man

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2019, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!