She's with me but discussing separate futures. No wonder I couldn't feel safe

[Euler2718]

I was sad because I thought if I'd just been more patient...recently I thought this. No doubt triggered by her moving to another state with her new guy. But this morning I remembered she was always trying to get me to promise that my "next girlfriend" would be ok with us remaining friends (I never promised that but she pushed for it).

Wtf! She's with me but already discussing separate futures. Something akin to talking about divorce when you're still married to someone. No wonder I couldn't feel safe.

Anyway life goes on and sometimes I forget what really blew it up...relationship instability.

[smart_storm26]

Hi buddy, don't punish yourself for your relationship not working. It's very clear why your relationship didn't work. It takes two to make a relationship work. You alone cannot get it done. These are some twisted people who have no concept of true love. I believe what they think is love is just some unhealthy attachment they form with their partners. If you would have been really loved by someone, you wouldn't have been so worked up inside your mind. Just let her go and ruin someone else's life. You should be your number 1 priority now.

[MeandThee29]

I found this saying helpful as well:

It takes two to make a good relationship, and only one to destroy it.

Mine hung divorce over my head for over a decade. I also was raising our children and not self-supporting. So it put me in a place of fear and distrust that I didn't grasp until he left. I had been on shaky ground for a very long time and then everything was amplified.

It's getting better though.