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Author Topic: Resentment growing for 4 more decades (or less I hope)  (Read 546 times)
1238098d
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 2


« on: October 07, 2019, 03:40:07 PM »

I'm concerned.

My SO has BPD, and we have children. My resentment for her grows weekly. It's difficult to work around her now, and probably worse in divorce. I'm not pursuing divorce right now.

I'm not perfect, and I'm worried about what my negative thoughts might become in a few more decades.  At worst my problems won't end for for about four decades. S.O. pretends perfection in case you were wondering.

She'll have a pretty negative effect on our children and their children until then, and likely beyond.

Counselor says study forgiveness. I wonder if I should pay him.
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This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

Radcliff
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
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Fond memories, fella.


« Reply #1 on: October 09, 2019, 01:12:17 AM »

Welcome

Can you tell us a little more about your situation?  How old are your kids?  What behaviors of your SO are the most difficult for you?

RC
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1238098d
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 2


« Reply #2 on: October 17, 2019, 05:29:27 PM »

The most difficult thing is that I can't trust her to be normal or I can trust she will have strange paranoid fears that cause her to do damaging things to our kids like isolate them from friends and family. The most difficult thing is that this happens over and over.  It's difficult for me to see mothers who really care for their kids. It's difficult when other women are kind to me.  This also happens over and over.

Kids are all under 13 and youngest is 2.

« Last Edit: October 17, 2019, 05:43:09 PM by 1238098d » Logged
Radcliff
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 3377


Fond memories, fella.


« Reply #3 on: October 20, 2019, 01:12:53 AM »

I'm sorry to hear that you're seeing unhealthy behavior with respect to your kids.  How are your relationships with your kids?  Are you able to have strong relationships with them?  Does she interfere, stand back, or support your relationships with the kids?

RC
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