Hi Lollypop
Yep, sure sounds like a storm ahead. Well, you have weathered many and I am sure you are going to make your way through this one, too.
I think your "light as a fairy" approach when conversing with your son is great. That helps to set the tone in discussions with him. (By the way...I think it was you who first coined that phrase in this forum and I have seen it repeated many times as one member will offer comfort and advice to another.)
You certainly have been working hard in trying to help your son to problem solve but could all be going in one ear and out the other because he has his sights set on what he wants the outcome to be? Wonder if you have ever said outright to him (quietly but firmly) that he is
not going to get any money from you...and he is
not coming back home to live.
Yes, there are those boundaries that are so hard to set with the fear that, if push comes to shove, the pulling of the heart strings might hinder efforts to stay strong.
With that said, your retirement plans should not be marred because your son continues to throw caution to the wind. It is your turn to reap the benefits after years of hard work and saving towards that goal.
I think back to some posts where one parent or another has stated that they have had enough and were pulling up stakes and moving away from their troublesome offspring. Oh that it would be that easy for all of us!
Onward and upward, Lollypop! Glad to be in the trenches with people like you.
Huat