MY EX BEST FRIEND HAS BPD

[boshdia]

im A straigh girl who used to have a female best friend. We haven’t talk in 8 months. She stop talking to me cuz I reveled to one of her parents some of her bpd behaviors. Now, she has started a distortion campaign against me. She is now dating my ex, but she’s telling people I never date him. She’s clearly using him to hurt me cuz he’s not her type at all. She’s making me seem as a crazy person. I’m feeling like crap, cuz I could never imagine my best friend for 12 years could be capable of doing something like that. Her family hates me too because she’s manipulating the information. I used to get alone really well with her family but now they are not talking to me. The family of hers, is not aware she has a disease, since she controls them in order to show them like she’s doing fine. But she’s a ranging alcoholic, she has too many one night stands and tons of other bpd behaviors. For a while, I was thinking to approach her family and explaining about her bpd, to help her. But her family is like trying to denied the facts. She even tried to kill herself like 3 years ago but her family doesn’t take that seriously. I can’t tell her family now cuz they’ll think I’m obsessed with her but all I wanna do is help her, even if she’s not in my life anymore. I want her to get better, I don’t even want to be in her life anymore. I feel like I’m going crazy with all of her attacks.  Does anybody else here has been through something like this?

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[itsmeSnap]

My dad did something similar to my mom while they were divorcing, it got bad, but as time went on things settled. They are now on talking terms, but it took for the divorce to come through for things to wind down.

I want her to get better, I don’t even want to be in her life anymore

That needs to come from her. There is only so much we can do, more and it indeed starts becoming obtrusive if that goes against her wishes, however dysfunctional they are.

She is now dating my ex, but she’s telling people I never date him. She’s clearly using him to hurt me cuz he’s not her type at all. She’s making me seem as a crazy person. I’m feeling like crap

As you fall off her radar, things will probably ease down. She'll find someone else to focus her energy towards.

If your ex comments on the situation, take it easy, he too will soon find out what she's doing, or it will happen to him as well. If you're still close to him you can be a friend, but beyond that, probably better for your own sake to stand back and watch the fireworks from a distance.

What happened that she stopped talking to you? 12yrs is a long time as a friend. Has she broken contact like this before?

[Timberwolf]

How can you help someone  you want nothing to do with ? I would imagine that would be interpreted as somewhat confusing and hurtful to the BPD person. You weren’t going away, but remaining just out of reach… You don’t want them in your life but you will torture them by communicating with them and following up using other people by proxy. That’s not to excuse some of the crappy behavior  these people do but that almost seems unfair. Why is it that you can’t communicate your concerns directly?