Emotionally exhausted after 24 years of marriage to BPD wife

[Depression = 72% of members]

My wife and I have been married 24 years with 7 children she is 54 and I’m 59 the last 7 years have been very bad and it seems that her BPD has gotten much worse. I am emotionally exhausted and very near giving up. I am angry at how I’m treated and frankly don’t want to be a therapist for my wife ( constantly controlling my interactions so that she is validated). Our youngest child is 18 and next year is her last year of school so I am inclined to wait till she graduates.

[Try this]

My wife and I have been married 24 years with 7 children she is 54 and I’m 59 the last 7 years have been very bad and it seems that her BPD has gotten much worse. I am emotionally exhausted and very near giving up. I am angry at how I’m treated and frankly don’t want to be a therapist for my wife ( constantly controlling my interactions so that she is validated). Our youngest child is 18 and next year is her last year of school so I am inclined to wait till she graduates.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Ozzie101]

Hi and welcome, Try this!

Living with a person with BPD can be absolutely exhausting and I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. The exhaustion, the anger, the resentment -- those are all familiar feelings to me and many other members here.

When you feel up to it, I hope you'll share a little more detail. For instance, what sorts of behaviors does your wife exhibit that cause problems? Has she been diagnosed (whether she has or not, we can still help)? Is either of you seeing a therapist?

We have a lot of skills and experience we can share. And if you just need a virtual ear to listen, we can do that for you, too.

Please keep posting! We're here to help.