Hello st and welcome!

You've come to the right place. We understand the road you find yourself on and we do have a lot of skills and advice we can share. BPD can be overwhelming and emotionally draining and a support system is so valuable in getting through. I know this board has been a huge help to me.
I hope when you feel like it, you can write more and share a bit more about your relationship. How long have you been married? What are some of the more difficult behaviors you struggle with regarding your spouse?