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Author Topic: Need help in breaking off the relationship  (Read 356 times)
grasshopper0024
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 1


« on: December 28, 2019, 03:22:36 PM »

I am living with a person who has traits of a borderline personality disorder.
She has threatened me if I leave her. On Thanksgiving dinner she threatened to hurt herself since an old girlfriend called to wish me well. She went into my phone to see the incoming call.She called the lady 5 times that night.She has broken in all my computers and phone and called ex girlfriends.
She Opened up my outgoing Christmas cards.
There has no cheating from me.
I am worried about how I can leave without her doing damage.
I am a licensed professional.
Can someone shed light on how I can remove myself.
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This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

Cat Familiar
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
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« Reply #1 on: December 28, 2019, 03:55:32 PM »

This will sound counterintuitive since you are planning on leaving, but I’m going to move your post to the Bettering board. There you will learn strategies that lessen conflict, which will be very helpful as you extract yourself from this relationship.
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“The Four Agreements  1. Be impeccable with your word.  2. Don’t take anything personally.  3. Don’t make assumptions.  4. Always do your best. ”     ― Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced
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« Reply #2 on: December 28, 2019, 04:16:42 PM »

Hi, grasshopper. Welcome to the family!

What kinds of damage do you anticipate will be done if you leave? Physical damage? Emotional, financial, accusations of abuse, acts of retaliation?

We have many members here who have gone through similar situations.

One thing we advise people to do is to make a safety plan, even if there has not been violence in the relationship. It helps to have things planned out instead of leaving in the heat of the moment or impulsively.

Safety First

Are your finances separate right now? Who pays the bills? Do you have enough money to secure other living arrangements for yourself at present?

When you say she threatened you, what did she threaten to do if you left?
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