you have described my marriage, and you've described my being discarded.
i do not want to co-opt your post, so i won't go into my story; however, please know you will get through this. i promise.
i have been 2 1/2 years of complete NC, and I feel way better.
when he left and when i got the paperwork for the divorce, i pretty much collapsed. i know how bad you feel.
at the 9-month mark, i began to feel slightly less devastated. to get to the 9 month mark, i relied on friends, this forum, and my therapist. you will get there.
now i am actually grateful my STBX left. i really am. i'm still in the middle of a nasty divorce, but my life is much calmer. i can write again, read again, enjoy life again.
my heart goes out to you because how bad it feels to be discarded without an opportunity to even discuss it.

TMD