Been with my SO for 5+ years. Wish we had the diagnosis correct as they first gave him anti psychotics, then PTSD diagnosis. Absolute roller coaster ride- 20 threats of suicide with me involving the VA and sheriffs.
I am clearly a grade A codependent. I am working on it everyday with EFT. He started getting black out drunk & felony level rapey with me- my fleeing reaction sparked his quick ideation onto another women which he ramped up as I spoke up more and more about the sexual boundary violations (it technically was rape). He was in full denial about this even though there were witnesses to some of it.
There was talk of therapy for us but then he switched gears and broke up with me via text two weeks before Christmas and discarded me completely. This has happened many times before- the breaking up and discarding but this time I just felt for myself too much. It all was just so cruel.
I found a new place to live and moved in mostly- no contact on my end & he reached out to me to let me know he was “enjoying” all the time he was getting with his new love interest. It was like a hot poker through my chest. I could have taken a punch easier. My heart was racing at resting for over 100 for the next couple days.
He is supposed to be gone tomorrow when I am going with a couple people to get the last of my stuff. I am imagining there is going to be hurtful attempts by him. I am praying he can be decent and make it easy for me but it will all be over by this time tomorrow and I can start rebuilding my sanity again.
Any supportive thoughts would be much appreciated.
Hey BluJae, I have codependency issues as well. My exgfwBPD took me for a ride. We broke up end of November and I was convinced I could stay in minimal contact if she needed me.
Over the course of the next couple months she would dangle tiny tiny carrots, while calling or texting me to hurt me / make me jealous, lean on me as an emotional crutch, for validation, and eventually for money. After the money bit (it was only 50 bucks which she promised to send back immediately the same day and didn't), I blocked her on everything.
It wasn't about the 50 bucks, I'm well off and I'll be fine
... it was the disrespect and carelessness she continually showed me since we broke up. I sent her a polite, very firm and honest, and ended in a loving tone email about all we had been through and why I had to go complete no contact. She then went very public with her newest relationship on FB which really sucked, as she was always super secretive about me and her (note the cab I paid for was for her coming home from the new flings house; apparently she didn't wanna ask her new fling, who probably doesn't know about her disorder and financial issues
). Obviously in an attempt to hurt me (note she is blocked, but a mutual friend told me/showed me).
I feel for you... it's going to be a slow healing process. I was hesitant to go NC at first but I should've. They don't get boundaries, and will always hang around when they need something. Remember that a lot of the issues are caused by the disorder. Socially, emotionally, and psychologically they're a 5 year old in an adult's body.
Love them, pity them, but move on. They can only save themselves.
