How to cope with a partner who has BPD

[Tammie]

Hey, hope everyone is well and safe in lockdown still.

I’m basically just writing this in hope of a little help in being able to understand and deal with my partner who has BPD.
He recently got diagnosed with this disorder about half a year ago by a doctor. We’ve been together for over 2 years and still madly in love and see and want a future together. Due to his childhood and unknowingly having BPD and therefore smoking weed since a teenager for about 18 years now he’s become completely dependant upon it and right now doesn’t want to quit as it’s very much an easy instant cure.

I just want to have a better understanding and if there’s anyway I can help with his frame of mind and what’s going on in his head and therefore make situations better before they turn into an argument and just being able to deal with him as he’s an incredible person and I want to be able to help as much as I can and be able to have a healthy relationship with him. I would love to be his escape to happiness.

Thank you for your time guys xxx

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[once removed]

hi Tammie, and

first things first: a diagnosis of BPD, or anxiety, or major depression, or for that matter, a damaged tooth, can be life changing.

and frankly, thats often in a way that things get worse before they get better. its a little bit like being told the sky is actually green, and learning to adapt to that, except it has far greater implications on your life.

so while a diagnosis can be invaluable, ultimately, it can make things worse for your partner and your relationship in the near term.

it sounds like theres some conflict going on. tell us more about it. whats going on between the two of you lately?