Hey everyone,
I have not been on this forum for a long time. With this post I want to give people that are struggling some hope. When I first came here I was completely devastated and lost and some of you helped me by listening and giving advice. At the time I felt very lonely and depressed and these feelings were so severe that it felt like they would never end. That I would always feel bad. That the breakup triggered things inside of me that I wasn't able to process.
I felt like I 'drowned' in these feelings for almost two years. I became unemployed and sometimes had very dark thoughts. At times bordering on suicidal...
I created this post to hopefully help anyone that feels like this right now. Because whenever I heard people around me say that life gets better I thought that they just didn't understand. But as I found out these last couple of months - it does. Life has its seasons. Feelings do not last forever. And you can and will get over the hurt and the pain and the confusion and loneliness.
For me, things began to change when I took responsibility for my feelings. When I stopped trying to 'fix' anything anymore with my ex and accepted there are people that you just don't need in your life - even if you love them. When I didn't blame her anymore for the hurt caused but tried to look at what it said about me that I allowed someone to treat me that way - that is when things changed.
For the first time in my life I feel completely comfortable single. I am a lot quicker to say no to women and don't allow anyone to walk over me anymore.
This was a slow process. Besides meditation and therapy there were a lot of mundane things that helped me along the way: making new friends, going for long walks, eating healthily, doing more sports and trying to sleep well.
Not only did I get into a better mood, but slowly I gained more energy to focus on my own interests again.
At this moment I have a well-paying (albeit temporary) job helping map the spread of the corona-virus. I also began chasing my lifelong dream of being a writer. I am currently working on my third article for one of the bestselling magazines in my country (the Netherlands). Lastly; to process my feelings I began collaborating with a music producer and created an EP that will land on Spotify this November
Everything seems to be going well at this moment in my life. I almost don't recognize the person in my older posts anymore. I know that these feelings probably will also not last forever but hopefully this experience made me a little stronger to battle life's storms along the way. And hopefully some of you will be more hopeful in your own healing journeys.
I hope everyone is safe and healthy. If you are struggling, please hold on. I know that some of your stories are far heavier than mine - but I also know that you will eventually heal.
"Your heart is a muscle
the size of your fist
keep on loving
keep on fighting
and hold on
and hold on
hold on for your life"
- Ramshackle Glory
