Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
March 29, 2024, 08:55:10 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: Cat Familiar, EyesUp, SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Beware of Junk Psychology... Just because it's on the Internet doesn't mean it's true. Not all blogs and online "life coaches" are reliable, accurate, or healthy for you. Remember, there is no oversight, no competency testing, no registration, and no accountability for many sites - it is up to you to qualify the resource. Learn how to navigate this complicated arena...
115
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: The pain is still deep and from time to time i get short flashbacks  (Read 378 times)
Autumn2019

*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 14


« on: September 10, 2020, 05:31:15 AM »

Dear all!

I am back now since my last post almost nine months ago.

I have in the meantime worked hard on myself and stayed in no
contact. I have read much about BPD for getting a clearer picture
about persons with BPD traits in a relationship and how to handle
this situation.

During that time I did regularly sports, did my work and hobbies and
managed in that area to "get back in normal modus".

But the pain is still deep and from time to time ( I would say each 2 months ) I get short flashbacks which just last one till three days.
Then all my memories and the pain comes out again. The central question is always: "How can a person who adored you and loved you one day just cut you completely off the other day and nearly hate you?"
This is coming up when I get these flashbacks.

Has anyone an idea how to handle these? What is your advice?

I always say to myself "it is not YOU - it is her situation / mental illness".
"You have to be strong - otherwise TWO persons loose control and you
will get dragged down as well".

I found out more: She is probably bisexual and started relationships with woman again directly under the breakup. This could as well explain her pending, her instability and unclear identity. She never told me about
that she is attracted to women, too.

I did the following: At christmans and at her birthday I sent her a nice handwritten card. Just stating that I stand behind her and that I will always be there for her. No pressure...I say to myself. Send her from time to time these signs and maybe one day she will realize that I really care about her.

In the meantime I could handle this very well, just these flashbacks occur from time to time. I know that this is no sprint, it is a marathon.

Has anyone similar experience with this?

« Last Edit: September 11, 2020, 04:09:12 AM by once removed » Logged
JNChell
a.k.a. "WTL"
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Dissolved
Posts: 3520



« Reply #1 on: September 11, 2020, 10:27:52 PM »

Looking definitely brings out things that are hard to see. I see something deeper. Do you still want to be with her?
Logged

“Adversity can destroy you, or become your best seller.”
-a new friend
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!