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Author Topic: Insta-FOG.  (Read 366 times)
Goosey
****
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced
Posts: 375


« on: September 13, 2020, 10:17:59 AM »

I assume what I am feeling is defined as FOG.
 Divorcing, live separated, no contact virtually.
Only time I receive any email (blocked all other) is about her lack  of money. (Welcome to the club).
  Yesterday get an email which states basically  she is being evicted, can’t pay daughters car or insurance and her car is being repossessed.
   Of course it ends by accusing me of being a hateful monster.
  Now I offered six weeks ago to assume the loan on daughters car and handle the insurance and for That got a scathing voicemail in return calling me a (oh the usual).
  So I do nothing all day but be angry, worried, think of ways to get her money which will be offset on final settlement... around and around in my head. I don’t want her on the streets. I don’t want her with me. Fog. I want to help a person who absolutely loathes me. A person who has destroyed me for years.
  So I sent email today offering again to take over car responsibilities. Of course I doubt she will respond. So I waste two days in knots and she is probably ..
A-lying
B- Fine
C- enjoying the day without a care in the world.
   I got to stop being such a sucker.
                       
 
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livednlearned
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Family other
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 12731



« Reply #1 on: September 13, 2020, 11:36:05 AM »

You gotta be kinder to yourself  Virtual hug (click to insert in post)

It takes tiny little steps, one thing at a time.

You are moderating email from her. That's a  Bullet: completed (click to insert in post)

In other posts you recognize that she will be ok -- she's good at landing on her feet.

You have self-awareness and understand FOG and how it works in you.

You're doing great, Goosey.

It is surprisingly painful to put yourself first, to be kind to yourself. That pain was far worse than anything a pwBPD did to me. It's a much more vulnerable pain, and people who have been chronically hurt don't like to feel vulnerable.

One step at a time  Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)
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