Hi all,
I could use some support. My bf with bpd broke up with me this past Saturday. He went into a rage on the phone and then sent me a nasty email that he was never going to speak to me again.
I hope this isn't tmi, but the reason had to do with his very high libido. Mine is not, and this is something we discussed when the relationship began. He was okay with everything until now 5 months later.
He then changed his mind on Monday and made an emergency appointment with his PCP to take meds to normalize his libido...
His therapist and doctor felt this was reasonable and the meds safe.
He apologized and we are communicating again, but only by email. He is starting an intensive DBT program tomorrow.
I would leave this relationship if he weren't getting help, but he has been working very hard on himself- reading DBT workbooks and seeing his therapist- all the while waiting for this intensive program to start tomorrow.
I just need some support here.
A mutual friend of ours explained to him that this cycle of stability, kindness, trigger, and rage is not healthy and that eventually "sorry" isn't going to mean anything.
He does not like to admit to what he's done and sometimes even denies it and gets angry if I point it out like from an email. He says that I am making him feel shame.
Though, sometimes he does take responsibility and apologize sincerely.
It's frustrating because I don't think we can have a healthy relationship if we can't bring up these things.
We've seen a couple's counselor who has given us worksheets on how to talk through conflict. They are helpful and he likes doing them together.
I just pray that the intensive program (therapist, skills group, phone coaching) will make a difference.
He really is working so hard. Writes in his DBT book daily, goes to AA meetings, does the couple's worksheets with me, goes to therapy...
Just need some support please. And pm me please.
I feel a bit lost. Even though I do have a therapist and many supportive friends.
I need the support of others who have been through this.
Thank you.
Miri
