I have never posted anywhere before but I have no one to talk to and nowhere to turn...
im glad you took this step. experts will tell you a strong support system is critical, and i know of no better place.
I finally moved to a different state with a better job to get us out of debt and immediately he says I abandoned him though I'm just trying to get him to the place he wants to be.
people with bpd traits dont do well with change. especially sudden and dramatic change, or change that involves physical separation.
and if you dont cope with change so well, you lash out. underneath the hyperbole and the blame, what hes saying is "im not reacting to this change very well, and i need you to fix it".
its not only not always in our power to do so, as much as we love our partners, but sometimes its also not the healthiest thing.
having said that, do i have it right that youre married and living in separate states? if so, its a significant change, one that anyone would struggle with.
loving a very difficult person is a battle between understanding, and separating, the invalid from the valid.