BDP girl and intimacy confusion

[Match4787]

Hi there,

I m having a relationship with a girl, lately things did not work very well, and I found out she was running two distant relationships, with me and another person (an old friend that she hurt in the past)...

We both did not agree with that, but I accepted, while the other partner don't really like the idea

In this moment she consider the other partner a kind of hero (she enjoys his familiarity), while I m in a kind of devaluation wave (since few arguments we had)

Anyway, we planned a catch up, in the beginning she did not want to do it (to don't hurt the other partner), but after I confessed my feelings she accepted, at the condition of no sex (because confusing)

I don't understand what she mean with that...
I know problem started when she tought to not be able to satisfy me sexually.

But the confusion is related because of the two partners or about our intimacy?

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[Cat Familiar]

I think the confusion is about BPD. People who have it have an unstable sense of self.   https://www.bpdfamily.com/content/what-borderline-personality-disorder

[Jose Maria]

You have a long-distance relationship with a woman who has another in her life whom she considers her hero and does not want to have sex with you.
What kind of relationship would that be? A distant friendship?

[once removed]

it sounds like the two of you are not on the same page about where you want this relationship to go.

you want more commitment than shes prepared to offer.

ive been in that situation before. i have found its best not to commit to a "see other people" situation if it isnt what youre comfortable with.

it sounds like she was willing to meet up to hopefully give you some answers, and possibly because she isnt done with the relationship, but shes drawing some hard lines around meeting up.

what happened where she told you she couldnt meet your needs sexually?