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Skills we were never taught
98
A 3 Minute Lesson
on Ending Conflict
Communication Skills-
Don't Be Invalidating
Listen with Empathy -
A Powerful Life Skill
Setting Boundaries
and Setting Limits
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Author Topic: Son with bpd  (Read 351 times)
Bdpmom
Fewer than 3 Posts
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 1


« on: March 07, 2021, 09:33:35 AM »

My 27 year old son has recently decided that my husband and I are the reason for all of his troubles. He is seeing a counsellor and is having addiction treatments( pot and binge drinking) He claims that all of his counsellors have told him to eliminate us from his life. ( I can’t imagine that this is true) that being said, it’s been a month since we have spoken with him and I’m not sure what to do.
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Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
old97

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
Relationship status: Divorced - dating a woman who's daughter has BPD
Posts: 23


« Reply #1 on: March 10, 2021, 01:57:25 PM »

Hi bpdmom,

Your story is a familiar one. Blaming others, especially those closest, is a trait of BPD.

If your son does have BPD (and it sounds like a real possibility), then the type of therapy he's receiving, and the therapist he's receiving it from, may not be appropriate. Everything I've read has indicated that Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is the preferred treatment for BPD. Other types of therapy, or a therapist not familiar with BPD, may be counter-productive.

One of the toughest things for me in this has been the forced realization that I can't make our pwBPD do anything she doesn't want to. And, until very recently, she hasn't wanted to do anything. What has worked for us (her mother and I) has been to read, learn, and interact here. In addition, her mother is seeing a therapist who is well-versed in BPD. With the therapist's help, her mother has been much more effective in setting and enforcing boundaries and taking care of herself, which has put her in a much better position to care for her BPD daughter.

I encourage you to learn more about BPD, and to stay engaged on this forum. You are not alone!
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