Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
November 22, 2024, 11:53:23 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: EyesUp, SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Books most popular with members
104
Stop Caretaking the
Borderline or the Narcassist
Stop Walking
on Eggshells
Journey from
Abandonment to Healing
The Search for Real Self
Unmasking Personality Disorders

Pages: [1] 2  All   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Things you can never say to a pwBPD Part 2  (Read 1305 times)
Couper
****
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 335


« on: July 25, 2021, 01:38:13 PM »

{With a 3rd party present.}

"I apologize for that.  Just ignore her."

« Last Edit: August 20, 2021, 02:38:38 AM by once removed » Logged
Cat Familiar
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 7501



« Reply #1 on: July 25, 2021, 02:04:52 PM »

Can you just stop being so unreasonable?
Logged

“The Four Agreements  1. Be impeccable with your word.  2. Don’t take anything personally.  3. Don’t make assumptions.  4. Always do your best. ”     ― Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom
Cat Familiar
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 7501



« Reply #2 on: July 25, 2021, 02:06:21 PM »

For once, will you quit projecting your  Cursing - won't cause site restrictions at Starbucks (click to insert in post) on me?
Logged

“The Four Agreements  1. Be impeccable with your word.  2. Don’t take anything personally.  3. Don’t make assumptions.  4. Always do your best. ”     ― Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom
kells76
BOARD ADMINISTRATOR
**
Online Online

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner’s ex
Posts: 3817



« Reply #3 on: July 25, 2021, 03:38:14 PM »

Actually, you're NOT a logical person, and the more you keep announcing loudly that you ARE, the more I'm convinced you're NOT.
Logged
Notwendy
********
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 11053



« Reply #4 on: July 25, 2021, 07:01:33 PM »

Any statement with the word "you" in it.
Logged
B53
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Broken up
Posts: 326


« Reply #5 on: July 25, 2021, 08:06:58 PM »

Trust is something that is earned
Logged
Couper
****
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 335


« Reply #6 on: August 03, 2021, 09:56:47 PM »

"Of course I saw your name on the caller i.d.  That's why I didn't answer."
Logged
ThanksForPlaying
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 254


« Reply #7 on: August 03, 2021, 10:14:47 PM »

Do it. Do all these things you're threatening to do and let's see what happens.
Logged
Goosey
****
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced
Posts: 375


« Reply #8 on: August 05, 2021, 03:16:05 PM »

“You seem to be the common denominator in all these relationship issues , am I right? “
Logged
mdhloveBPD

Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: separated
Posts: 5


« Reply #9 on: August 05, 2021, 10:45:46 PM »

I told him to “grow a pair”….. once…. didn’t go well..
Logged
Cat Familiar
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 7501



« Reply #10 on: August 06, 2021, 10:24:15 AM »

You are an adult.
Logged

“The Four Agreements  1. Be impeccable with your word.  2. Don’t take anything personally.  3. Don’t make assumptions.  4. Always do your best. ”     ― Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom
Marianne-11
**
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Preparing for divorce
Posts: 86



« Reply #11 on: August 06, 2021, 11:04:42 AM »

You are an adult.

Oh, this, tried and tested with zero positive outcomes  Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)
Logged
ILMBPDC
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
Relationship status: Single
Posts: 356


« Reply #12 on: August 06, 2021, 01:59:48 PM »

"I feel like you're using me."

...and now we are no longer speaking. Apparently my feelings aren't valid or that statement hit a little too close to home
Logged
Carguy
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 325


« Reply #13 on: August 06, 2021, 11:17:12 PM »

So the WHOLE world is out to get you?

So it's ALWAYS everyone else's fault?

Wow! I can't believe how perfect you are being able to claim you don't do anything wrong!

You know, you might actually have or keep a friend if you actually treated them decent. Maybe even keep a romantic interest around!

Or pretty much say or do the things she has to me during those moments. She would go nuclear and I'd be the worst person ever.
« Last Edit: August 06, 2021, 11:22:27 PM by Carguy » Logged
B53
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Broken up
Posts: 326


« Reply #14 on: August 07, 2021, 03:46:07 PM »

You have that down to an art form

Logged
Notwendy
********
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 11053



« Reply #15 on: August 07, 2021, 05:05:14 PM »

pwBPD "Do you want these ? (things she owns) as I might give them away if you don't"

"No thank you, go ahead and do what you want with them" ( as an expression, not a command)

pwBPD in angry tone: " How DARE you tell me what to do with my belongings! These are MINE and I will do whatever I want with them".


Logged
Cat Familiar
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 7501



« Reply #16 on: August 08, 2021, 11:59:45 AM »

They can whatever you, but should you whatever them…
Logged

“The Four Agreements  1. Be impeccable with your word.  2. Don’t take anything personally.  3. Don’t make assumptions.  4. Always do your best. ”     ― Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom
Couper
****
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 335


« Reply #17 on: August 08, 2021, 01:37:34 PM »

Similar to Notwendy's:

She’s going out of town and is asking what I want her to leave out that I can eat.

pwBPD:  I can make some fresh pasta and you can use up this meat sauce while I’m gone.  Do you want that?

me:  Yes, that will work, I’ll eat that.

pwBPD:  Or do you want me to freeze it if you don’t like it?

me:  Okay, freeze it.

pwBPD:  Then what are you supposed to eat?

me:  I’ll take care of myself.

pwBPD:  Exasperated. 

It's like a flowchart.  Experience has shown there was no right way to answer it.  If I had said no right off the bat she would have torn into me for never liking her cooking.  If I had insisted on wanting it, I would have heard how she doesn't have time for that and I'm always making her do the work.  At the end I should have said "Okay, I'll take the meat sauce" to see how many times things would go 360! 
Logged
Cat Familiar
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 7501



« Reply #18 on: August 11, 2021, 01:50:18 PM »

My BPD husband does not like to take advice from me, even on things where I have expertise, and he does not.

“Let me show you the *right* way to do that.”

Guaranteed to set off a bomb!
Logged

“The Four Agreements  1. Be impeccable with your word.  2. Don’t take anything personally.  3. Don’t make assumptions.  4. Always do your best. ”     ― Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom
EyesUp
Senior Ambassador
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: divorced
Posts: 586


« Reply #19 on: August 12, 2021, 11:35:31 AM »

I once told my my uBPD wife that the real reason she went way overboard on gifts for the kids was because the gifts were really for herself...   boom!
Logged
pursuingJoy
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Inlaw
Posts: 1389



« Reply #20 on: August 12, 2021, 11:48:01 AM »

Sorry, I’m fresh out of emotional bubble wrap for you. Shall I pick up more at the store when I go?

literally Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)'d at this one Ozzie Smiling (click to insert in post) Smiling (click to insert in post) Smiling (click to insert in post)
Logged

   Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: What! You too? ~CS Lewis
Lifehasitsups

*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 19


« Reply #21 on: August 15, 2021, 08:49:30 PM »

Thank you everyone for the amazing posts. It’s a relief to know I am not the only one. So many great lines here.

Logged
At Bay
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 3324



« Reply #22 on: August 18, 2021, 07:24:08 AM »

Why don't you see if you can find some principles to live by.
Logged
Skip
Site Director
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 7034


« Reply #23 on: August 18, 2021, 08:20:54 AM »

When what you say is never enough...

“I love you, dear.”
“Is that you talking, or is it the martini?”
“It’s me talking to the martini.”
Logged

 
EyesUp
Senior Ambassador
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: divorced
Posts: 586


« Reply #24 on: August 19, 2021, 09:10:11 AM »

"It's interesting that someone who is hyper sensitive to criticism can be so overtly critical"
Logged
Cat Familiar
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 7501



« Reply #25 on: August 19, 2021, 11:02:55 AM »

Have you ever thought of examining your own behavior?
Logged

“The Four Agreements  1. Be impeccable with your word.  2. Don’t take anything personally.  3. Don’t make assumptions.  4. Always do your best. ”     ― Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom
once removed
BOARD ADMINISTRATOR
**
Online Online

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 12732



« Reply #26 on: August 20, 2021, 02:34:31 AM »

"its over"

"thank god"
Logged

     and I think it's gonna be all right; yeah; the worst is over now; the mornin' sun is shinin' like a red rubber ball…
Ventak
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 214


To find out what I want, I look at what I do.


« Reply #27 on: August 20, 2021, 11:17:59 AM »

When you are pushing our son and I into the wall and threatening to hit me with a broom, and then I push you away, your bruises are not evidence of me being an abuser.
Logged
At Bay
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 3324



« Reply #28 on: August 20, 2021, 02:36:08 PM »

Why am I still here?
Logged
Cat Familiar
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 7501



« Reply #29 on: August 20, 2021, 02:52:51 PM »

The world isn’t going to end because I’m five minutes late taking you to your appointment.
Logged

“The Four Agreements  1. Be impeccable with your word.  2. Don’t take anything personally.  3. Don’t make assumptions.  4. Always do your best. ”     ― Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: [1] 2  All   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!