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BPDFamily.com
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Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
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Is AJ Mahari the real deal?
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Topic: Is AJ Mahari the real deal? (Read 4433 times)
Deep Blue
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Broken up
Posts: 48
Is AJ Mahari the real deal?
«
on:
October 26, 2021, 01:31:12 PM »
Hello,
There is so much misinformation and BS out there on the web generally speaking and it’s no different with BPD related information.
I’ve come across AJ Maharishi on YouTube and from what I see, she appears to be legit and her information accurate and informed. Is she a trustworthy source for information/advice? Am I mistaken here?
Deep Blue
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Re: Is AJ Mahari the real deal?
«
Reply #1 on:
October 26, 2021, 01:55:27 PM »
the short answer i would offer is: no.
there are certainly worse. she likely has a decent basic understanding of the disorder. she does, at times, push back on myths and urban legends. at the same time, she promotes some.
her videos, are frankly, often rambling, sometimes incoherent, and many of them are just rants about the conflict with the many, many people in her life that she has deemed to have a personality disorder.
my unsolicited advice is that as a general rule, about 99% of what is on youtube is total garbage, most of them claiming expertise, credibility, or authority, while dismissing the DSM and telling you theyre "keeping it real".
we have some reviews and discussions on many of the bigger names:
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=317743.0
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=316245.0
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=273738.0
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=161211.0
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=181067.0
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=273744.0
one on this very forum as well!
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=125831.0
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and I think it's gonna be all right; yeah; the worst is over now; the mornin' sun is shinin' like a red rubber ball…
Deep Blue
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Broken up
Posts: 48
Re: Is AJ Mahari the real deal?
«
Reply #2 on:
October 26, 2021, 02:13:06 PM »
Are there any channels or individuals who are actually the real deal? It’s so hard sifting through all the crap online trying to find trustworthy information/advice.
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Re: Is AJ Mahari the real deal?
«
Reply #3 on:
October 26, 2021, 02:28:01 PM »
Quote from: Deep Blue on October 26, 2021, 02:13:06 PM
Are there any channels or individuals who are actually the real deal?
as far as channels go, yes, but its definitely a lower quantity...actual BPD experts just in general arent making youtube style videos.
off the top of my head, marsha linehan (who was BPD herself), otto kernberg, john gunderson, james masterson, alan fruzzeti, many others; those are the big name BPD experts.
we have a library here (woefully underutilized imo) absolutely full of stuff including videos/channels:
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php#6
as well as book reviews:
https://bpdfamily.com/content/book-reviews
if youre looking for youtube/rant style videos, and a trustworthy source, theres a therapist called kati morton i used to like to watch.
what sort of information are you looking for?
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and I think it's gonna be all right; yeah; the worst is over now; the mornin' sun is shinin' like a red rubber ball…
Deep Blue
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Broken up
Posts: 48
Re: Is AJ Mahari the real deal?
«
Reply #4 on:
October 26, 2021, 02:40:03 PM »
Quote from: once removed on October 26, 2021, 02:28:01 PM
what sort of information are you looking for?
Anything credible that explains the workings of BPD and anything credible that gives advise to a non trying to work through BPDex detachment and healing
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grumpydonut
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Re: Is AJ Mahari the real deal?
«
Reply #5 on:
October 26, 2021, 05:06:25 PM »
Absolutely not.
Signs of psuedoscience:
- over reliance on anecdotes
Start with the experts. John Gunderson pioneered BPD research because these people "scared" him.
If you can access journal articles - or know someone who can - then try to get a general review of the literature on BPD. At least you'll know this has all been scientifically tested.
As for YouTubers, social media has become the tool of the unsuccessful to speak authoritavely without the proper expertise.
Back in the day, you needed a degree to get the platform, now people build their own platform and use it to speak ill of people with real expertise!
«
Last Edit: October 26, 2021, 05:11:43 PM by grumpydonut
»
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Re: Is AJ Mahari the real deal?
«
Reply #6 on:
October 26, 2021, 05:50:37 PM »
Quote from: Deep Blue on October 26, 2021, 02:40:03 PM
Anything credible that explains the workings of BPD
id hit up the library/community knowledge base. its just full of stuff. engaging, readable, insightful, credible.
bookwise, stop caretaking the borderline and narcissist, borderline personality disorder demystified, and the essential family guide to borderline personality disorder are all good. the language is kind of heavy, but if youre into psychology, james mastersons search for the real self is great. gunderson has a book apparently called "borderline personality disorder". its probably pretty heavy too, on the academic side, but ive never read it.
Excerpt
a non trying to work through BPDex detachment and healing
i like the lessons and the stages of detachment here:
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=136462.0
additionally, i read susan andersons "the journey from abandonment to healing" and got a lot out of it.
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and I think it's gonna be all right; yeah; the worst is over now; the mornin' sun is shinin' like a red rubber ball…
SinisterComplex
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Re: Is AJ Mahari the real deal?
«
Reply #7 on:
October 26, 2021, 06:15:26 PM »
Its youtube...money motivated. i.e...about as reliable as a politician. About the only thing you can trust is that they will make some S
up! DB, at the very least use pubmed as a guide.
What specifics are you looking for?
Cheers and best wishes!
-SC-
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Skip
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Re: Is AJ Mahari the real deal?
«
Reply #8 on:
October 26, 2021, 06:35:57 PM »
Quote from: grumpydonut on October 26, 2021, 05:06:25 PM
As for YouTubers, social media has become the tool of the unsuccessful to speak authoritavely without the proper expertise.
Not to point out the obvious, but this website's editorial was built with a non-profit grant and maintained by member donations for 15 years to provide exactly what you are looking for. The articles/videos here are uniquely written from the perspective of our members and based on clinical research and interviews with experts.
What we don't have is the "click bait" algorithms and displays of Facebook or you-tube - which are nice - but we have the content. And working here is totally anonymous.
And while Wilkerson, Linehan, Fruzzetti, Masterson all have very good articles and publications about BPD, there is very little research into recovery for family members with failed relationships. We have specialized in that...
https://bpdfamily.com/portfolio-broken
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grumpydonut
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Relationship status: Broken up
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Re: Is AJ Mahari the real deal?
«
Reply #9 on:
October 26, 2021, 07:04:03 PM »
Yar, Skip.
My post wasn't a critique of this website, and the reasons for that are below:
"Based on clinical research". If you post articles that state something is true, they aren't based solely on opinion.
Secondly, this part of the website is a forum for people to speak about their experiences. There are seldom people who are trying to claim that they are an authority on BPD. Those who do, usually have a general understanding on the literature, not just "I was in one relationship, thus I know everything about borderlines".
They are two chief differences between this website and YouTube.
YT "psychologists", like AJ Mahari, state their opinions as fact. They often purely demonise borderlines, which appeals to those who have been hurt by borderlines as it may absolve them of any responsibility. It's the same with Quora and Reddit threads.
Why I like this website, is that it is balanced. We can rant about our ex - we've been hurt, afterall - but there isn't a cult-like mentality of "us vs. them". That's not true on YT.
«
Last Edit: October 26, 2021, 07:10:34 PM by grumpydonut
»
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SinisterComplex
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Re: Is AJ Mahari the real deal?
«
Reply #10 on:
October 26, 2021, 07:22:16 PM »
Quote from: Skip on October 26, 2021, 06:35:57 PM
Not to point out the obvious, but this website's editorial was built with a non-profit grant and maintained by member donations for 15 years to provide exactly what you are looking for. The articles/videos here are uniquely written from the perspective of our members and based on clinical research and interviews with experts.
What we don't have is the "click bait" algorithms and displays of Facebook or you-tube - which are nice - but we have the content. And working here is totally anonymous.
And while Wilkerson, Linehan, Fruzzetti, Masterson all have very good articles and publications about BPD, there is very little research into recovery for family members with failed relationships. We have specialized in that...
https://bpdfamily.com/portfolio-broken
That is why this site is great. It truly is based on helping people and educating people. When there is a money motivation involved it is no longer about help and education but more here is what I can do for you if you do this for me.
Cheers and best wishes!
-SC-
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poppy2
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Relationship status: broken up
Posts: 226
Re: Is AJ Mahari the real deal?
«
Reply #11 on:
October 28, 2021, 01:36:24 PM »
Quote from: Skip on October 26, 2021, 06:35:57 PM
And while Wilkerson, Linehan, Fruzzetti, Masterson all have very good articles and publications about BPD, there is very little research into recovery for family members with failed relationships. We have specialized in that...
https://bpdfamily.com/portfolio-broken
Reading the portfolio broken pages, including the 'how a borderline relationship evolves', completely shifted my whole perception of my past two relationships. It set me on a long journey of understanding and validation.
I found it curious to be so isolated in an experience, and yet so connected to it virtually and bibliographically. In a way that is both the beauty and the limitation of a techno-scientific society: having a grandmother to feed me soup everyday and working outdoors on the harvest may not have helped me to understand BPD or myself, but it would have been a more organic recovery progress from intense grief and trauma.
Modern life, modern problems and modern solutions. I'm very grateful to BPD family and the people who keep it going.
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