Shari Schreiber: Online Reputation, Independent Review

[Anna Purna]

One writer that I have mixed feelings about - Shari Schreiber. Anyone have any experience with her?

 The article that I have read is her summary of BPD AT ANY COST: Saving your Life after Loving a Borderline.
  Mod Note: Article review here: bpdfamily.com/sharischriber.com/anycost.html

Mod Note: Cease and Desist order by State of California


Date: 1-2018Minutes: 26:56
Shari Schreiber vs The California Board of Psychology

[blackandwhite]

One writer that I have mixed feelings about - Shari Schreiber. Anyone have any experience with her?

Shari Schrieber's self professed communication style is "controversial"  - and according to her, "to challenge your perspectives and illuminate a path toward greater well-being".  In my observations here, her style seems to resonate best with readers from failed relationships that are stuck and look to her "tabloid style extremism" to bump them into the disengagement process.

In my opinion, Schreiber's material is not balanced and not at all helpful if you are trying to get a realistic understanding of your failed relationship, a balanced understanding the psychology of the disorder, hold a relationship together, or work with your child.  She tends to describe the disorder more as evil and a character flaw also has a tendency to "sensationalize" and attribute extreme and psychopathic (ASPD) behavior to all people suspected of having BPD traits.  For example:  

"Whether we are hearing about teachers having sex with their students or a wife severing her husbands genitals", we're observing a lack of impulse control that's associated with borderline personality ~ Shari Scheiber.  

We have received a number of questions about her credentials in the past. Schreiber is identified in numerous locations on the web as a counselor/therapist but when we checked, the State of California reports that her license was canceled in 2001 - Schreiber did not complete the required 3,000 hour/three year supervised internship or pass the state boards required to become an MFT. We report this only because some members have believed that she is a health care professional or therapist.

Schreiber has also claimed that she has treated "BPD" couples although the only information on her website is about exiting relationships and there is no indication that she has the advanced training, skills or the compassion for treating people with this disorder.

This is the wording on her site: My Bachelor's degree is in Human Behavior Psychology and I have a Master's in Counseling Psych., but my wisdom and skill are mostly outgrowths of substantial life experience, acute intuition and unrelenting commitment to personal growth. This is not psychotherapy, which deals only with the mind.

Schreiber considers herself a men's (anti-feminist) advocate and is involved in several men's advocacy websites.  

  Copy of canceled license : license and other references (caution, graphic).

[dilbert]

By way of a background, Shari is identified in numerous locations on the web as a counselor/therapist but the State of California reports that her license was canceled in 2001.  We report this only because some members have stated that she was their therapist.

so shari schreiber is not a licensed therapist? why was her license canceled? a thing that bothered me was in her writing in one of her articles to the effect of hollywood actors and actresses let themselves go when they age. that and a few other statements has me to believe that she uses a VERY wide brush, seems to me that she believes that everyone has BPD if they act out of line

[rich5a]

Is there bad blood between Shari Schrieber and this site. I came accross her site and I found it helpful, although perhaps a bit harsh.? curious?

[PDQuick]

Is there bad blood between Shari Schrieber and this site. I came across her site and I found it helpful, although perhaps a bit harsh.? curious?

She filed false claims of copyright violations in 2008 to the HON Foundation.  Her claims were found to be without merit by the foundation (decision letter). Since that time she has posted derogatory information about bpdfamily on her website and in her personal communication to others.

The HON Foundation oversees health information ethics on the web and enforces a code of ethical conduct, the HONcode. The HON Foundation is funded by the United Nations.  bpdfamily is a member (#764876) in good standing with HonCode.  ShariSchreiber.com is not.

Despite the ruling in our favor, we have tried to resolve/end the controversy.  Ms. Shreiber gave us the name of her attorney - but not a phone number.  We tried to locate him, but he is not listed on the Internet or with the Bar Association. Two other email contacts (once each year) were not responded to - so we closed the file.

We made no public mention before now as we did not think this type of thing was of much interest to our members.

[zaster]

Shari Schreiber masquerades as a therapist and fancies herself as a recognized expert among physicians, but she is really just an angry blogger and a drop out who has created a unique blend of basic psychology, urban legend, and mean spirited stigmatization to sell to spurned lovers.  

It's not healthy reading for anyone.

[4kids]

ShariSchreiber.com

I find her wierd.  I've read her stuff and she is not engaging; she almost sounds stoned.

This review of Schreibers article is really well done  bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=148844.0

If you want to watch information on BPD, watch Marsha Linehan (developer of DBT).

[runninggal81]

While what Shari Schreiber says might good for immediate repulsion from a BPD and helping one stay NC during those early days, beyond that she's just inflammatory and biased. She's also indicated that Jewish men are more likely to be BPD which might just be her experience. She's also really hard on lesbians.

[alchemist]

For those who know of a certain Shari Schreiber... .she makes some interesting points, but I wonder if her she isn't that far off from being BPD/NPD herself. Yeah... .we spoke... .what venom! What a sales pitch she makes for her "services". No thanks.  I will do this with my own compassion and not high pressure sales and vitriol.  LOL

[Chrystabel]

Hi all!  Hi! I found this site, funny enough, from reading over Shari Schreiber's materials.  Her writing seemed a bit strident and angry, and I had to check out this "Skip" she was referring to.  I'm pleasantly surprised by this forum and feel that it is a lot more balanced than the articles I read on her site.

A few years ago I got a hold of Karyl McBride's book about narcissistic mothers. I was amazed when I went down the list of criteria and  read the experiences some of the DONM had experienced.  I joined a couple of support sites for daughters of narcissistic mothers.  I couldn't believe that my life was in her book.  It was the first time in my life that I realized I wasn't alone... .that something really wasn't right with my family.  I knew that intuitively as a child, but here it was being confirmed for me!  My voicelessness and the annihilation of my authentic self so that I could try to get some love from my mother was in there.  

Unfortunately I didn't get into therapy right away.  In hindsight I wish I would have.  I made a mistake and told my father about my realizations.  All hell broke loose.  He ended up telling my mother and her behavior escalated.  I ended up going NC.  It was a horrible time... .probably one of the worst in my life.  I was in an enmeshed family, so losing them (and I lost all of them because of the dynamics of our family) was like losing myself.  Who was I without them?  My father and mother had always defined me.

[1brokenwing]

I'm jst reading all this now.  I have been in Therapy with Shari Schreiber for about 3 months and because of the type of work she does (core trauma work) I have nothing to compare it to and I have concerns.

I need to have a dialog with anyone who has had her and compare notes. You can email me or post on here. Thank you some!  xoxo

[Randi Kreger]

If you find a site claiming to have all the answers and information and knowledge not available elsewhere, be very very afraid of opening your wallet, for the information will be questionable, and worse, your credit card may have charges on it that you have not authorized.See my blog for a discussion on some of the less reputable sites: psychologytoday.com/so_called_expertsShariSchreiber.com, thepsychoexwife.com and Tara P Shrinks4Men blog are discussed.

[Randi Kreger]

If you find a site claiming to have all the answers and information and knowledge not available elsewhere, be very very afraid of opening your wallet, for the information will be questionable, and worse, your credit card may have charges on it that you have not authorized.See my blog for a discussion on some of the less reputable sites: psychologytoday.com/so_called_expertsShariSchreiber.com, thepsychoexwife.com and Tara P Shrinks4Men blog are discussed.

The reason you can't find it is because Tara P Shrinks4Men blog at Shrink for Men (can't spell her last name) took umbrage to some of the comments, which were negative but factual truths (such as listing her blog headlines) and had her lawyer contact Psychology Today.

In an email to them (she never wrote to me) she accused me of writing the comments myself and having some kind of vendetta against her. This confuses me because I do not know her and have never written about her; nor did I write the comments from other people. I know she has had people vilify her and do bad things, and they have been women, so I am assuming she was highly triggered.

Perhaps if I had been a man and wrote a vanilla article about checking out your sources she would not have been as triggered.

[1brokenwing]

Shari Schreiber masquerades as a therapist and fancies herself as a recognized expert among physicians, but she is really just an angry blogger and a drop out who has created a unique blend of basic psychology, urban legend, and mean spirited stigmatization to sell to spurned lovers.  

It's not healthy reading for anyone.

Shari Schreiber got me through a desperately rough patch and I drank the very expensive kool aide ($160.00 per hour) but would not recommend her.

[Zitronenbaum]

Hello there

I've been in counseling with Shari Schreiber since April now. I've got other (real) Ts I've successfully worked with. I can turn to them if this one runs into a wall. I drew on her for additional emergency help for my father, my only "real" parent and the nonPD in my core family, died lately and I since seem surrounded by too many potentially toxic people.

I cut her loose after I worked with her for a while, she certainly has methods that might work but I seemed to walk into a growing minefield of  probably her own issues and triggering traits. Personally I'm scared of her.

[Randi Kreger]

If you find a site claiming to have all the answers and information and knowledge not available elsewhere, be very very afraid of opening your wallet, for the information will be questionable, and worse, your credit card may have charges on it that you have not authorized.See my blog for a discussion on some of the less reputable sites: psychologytoday.com/so_called_expertsShariSchreiber.com, thepsychoexwife.com and Tara P Shrinks4Men blog are discussed.

The reason you can't find it is because Tara P Shrinks4Men blog at Shrink for Men (can't spell her last name) took umbrage to some of the comments, which were negative but factual truths (such as listing her blog headlines) and had her lawyer contact Psychology Today. In an email to them (she never wrote to me) she accused me of writing the comments myself and having some kind of vendetta against her. This confuses me because I do not know her and have never written about her; nor did I write the comments from other people. I know she has had people vilify her and do bad things, and they have been women, so I am assuming she was highly triggered. Perhaps if I had been a man and wrote a vanilla article about checking out your sources she would not have been as triggered.

Well, update. I ran into some info she wrote about a very negative publishing experience, and she was upset she didn't get published like she wanted to. That told me a lot.

[Zitronenbaum]

On Shari Schreiber

I can only tell you how it seemed to me. I have no rounded view on Ms Schreiber yet, but here it goes:

She's got very strong "medicine" on plumming up trauma, so I won't villify her totally, I wanted this.

The rest I did not want and I don't THINK she has it right, yet. So I thank her for introducing me to the power of digitalis and I liked her very much, but, again, I THINK she's not much about adult relationship, yet.

Having been raised in Borderland she, to me, realy seems to hold the illusion that anyone she can overpower with the mighty tools she picked up there to fight her way is a Borderline and she is right to do so and bring him/her down. Being the only one with an emerging human adult view on barren land seems to have stuck with her.

Actually, some of these her tools and conduct are the endgame tools: what looks like playing overmommy in front but holding the authoritarian aggressor to punish behind is the ultimate weapon to fight the fight on humankinds frontline between "evil and good". Just people will stand up that way to hit the bully in the face because they realy are like this, great dictators will pose this to seduce you and make you follow them into their wars to punish mankind, and you. The point is about what more there is. Since I don't know where Ms Schreiber is going to go, and I will not let myself be stockholmed and remothered by whatever wellmeaning renegade that might could turn out a great dictator (with titts, these days it seems possible in public space) after all while working on my early wounds, and since digitalis is but in smal doses a poison to kill you, I will not let Ms Schreiber control any of that medication on me any further, will stand down from what might be her war towards an outsourced victim called the Borderline, and wish her luck and thank her for the good she did me in case she's on the right path.

[MONASTYC]

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=148844.0

Hi there people

Not sure if this is in the right place... .

First time posting on a forum such as this… just read the article at the above link. I don’t think I am BPD, nor is my wife from whom I have recently separated sadly. I am not a health professional of any sort, and certainly not qualified to ascertain if someone definitely has a disorder. I do however, recognize outright nastiness and messed-upness when I see it.

At the outset of the separation I came across an email sent to my wife with a link to Shari Schreiber’s website, linking to the article on relationships with borderline males. It seems that this friend of hers who is not qualified in any medical or psychological capacity, and who barely knows me, has taken it upon herself to suggest that I am BPD and NPD. I do not know if I am, I intend to have a proper test done by a real Psychiatrist. Personally, I don’t think I am BPD, or if so, very much marginal. The main indicator would be my difficulty in being relationally intimate. I don't believe I exhibit any of the other markers to label me as such.

I read the article, and it made me almost physically sick. Shari Schreiber seems to be out to demonize and vilify anyone with this disorder, and shows no empathy towards anyone. Her descriptions of males with BPD seem to encompass about 90% of males in some way, so it doesn’t leave much hope for us. Shari Schreiber appears to be on a mission to absolutely destroy people. Anyone who might be BPD reading this would feel sick about themselves, and the “victims” would feel unjustly and falsely comforted and vindicated.

I found it ironic that she appeared to have been having sexual relations with one or more of her clients. That to me seems indicative of low ethical standards, and possibly some sort of disorder or dysfunction within herself as well as having had multiple relationships throughout her life.

I had a quick browse through some other parts of her website, and her vindictive, scathing, and downright nasty superior attitude was very evident. She seems to have some narcissistic tendencies herself, and reading through her replies to people who have been hurt by BPDs. or even by her own comments, are at best unprofessional, and at worst possibly sociopath.

It seems very unjust that this undoubtedly clever but malicious and unqualified woman is able to spread this opinionated pollution and that people are falling for it. Sadly she shows no accountability or remorse, and instantly targets anyone that disagrees with her as being disordered or flames them.

The thing that greatly saddens me the most is that my lovely wife has been “poisoned” by this article, and now views me through the lenses of this article, and is busy passing it on to her friends. It makes any hope of reconciliation all the more unlikely.

Has anyone else had to pick up the pieces after coming into contact with her “work”?

[lessonslearned]

A comment about Shari Schreiber. Based on my experience, and my opinion:

I "worked with" her for several months, and was open to her methods until she made the statement that my mother (who she knew nothing about) is BPD, and that my mother was the reason my father died of a heart attack, and that I have no empathy, none, zero. When I countered her on her lack of facts and accuracy, and that I wouldn't just let her tell me that I lacked a basic human quality I knew I had, she dug in like she enjoyed it and claimed I was "acting out." I actually wrote to my friends to ask if they saw me as having empathy, and they couldn't believe I would ask such a question -  and gave me a ton of examples to show me.

In my opinion she is abusive, lacks compassion, has no real tools except for a rubber band trick (snap it when you're in your head and it often becomes feeling) and writing down what you like about yourself... .and she feels kind of BPD/NPD herself like she's acting her stuff out on others.

My T (after I went back to him) was appalled at what went on.

Interestingly enough, I had red flags about her instantly when we first spoke. Like my ex BPD. They "felt" the same.

In a funny kind of way she helped deepen the lesson that I had not quite learned in my BPD r/s - to trust my gut... .and once I knew I was dealing with, I stopped. I got out. I now thank her for that, and concede that if that's her M.O. (be so abusive she teaches clients to heed their instincts and leave - which I doubt) she's brilliant.

I guess it's helpful to define "helpful" - she certainly helped me see that if you want good therapy you don't go to someone like her. IN that sense I would do it all over again. Callouses (lessons) require friction (experience). Sorry about the metaphor

[lessonslearned]

Let me also add that Shari Schreiber claimed she was the ONLY one out there that could treat nons OR BPDs... .and threatened to leave the therapy process if I didn't get "better at it" (abandonment) and was constantly critical... .and she said anyone that left her process would be back, and then she would raise her rate.

I see her as dangerous - again, this is my opinion, based on my own experience.

[lessonslearned]

Avoid Shari Schreiber.  She claimed she was the ONLY one out there that could treat nons OR BPDs... .and threatened to leave the therapy process if I didn't get "better at it" (abandonment) and was constantly critical... .and she said anyone that left her process would be back, and then she would raise her rate.

I see her as dangerous - again, this is my opinion, based on my own experience.

[Themis]

  Shari Schreiber

GRRR!

It's good if you want to be angry... .  but it focuses on the negative, and I feel like she is mentally ill herself. Anyone that disagrees with her is generally labeled as BPD. She dated so many BPD guys... .  that sound more like NPD... .  I think she is bitter from bad relationships with men with BPD.

Sure I feel like that myself, but it's not professional. It also adds a huge stigma to people with this mental illness.

She also claims all BPD men are narcissists... .  is this true?

I find that she is destructive, and to read her material if you want to be strong and move away from your BPD ex. Then you can sit there going: "Yeah, damn straight! They are so awful!"

But I found it's so negative, and she doesn't think people should date people with BPD... .  which isn't fair as everyone needs, wants and deserves to be loved.

This was the final straw for me on the Internet, and gave me a very bad impression of Internet based information... .  until I came here.

[Oldsoldier2411]

Is there bad blood between Shari Schrieber and this site. I came across her site and I found it helpful, although perhaps a bit harsh.? curious?

She filed false claims of copyright violations in 2008 to the HON Foundation.  Her claims were found to be without merit by the foundation (decision letter). Since that time she has posted derogatory information about bpdfamily on her website and in her personal communication to others.

The HON Foundation oversees health information ethics on the web and enforces a code of ethical conduct, the HONcode. The HON Foundation is funded by the United Nations.  bpdfamily is a member (#764876) in good standing with HonCode.  ShariSchreiber.com is not.

Despite the ruling in our favor, we have tried to resolve/end the controversy.  Ms. Shreiber gave us the name of her attorney - but not a phone number.  We tried to locate him, but he is not listed on the Internet or with the Bar Association. Two other email contacts (once each year) were not responded to - so we closed the file.

We made no public mention before now as we did not think this type of thing was of much interest to our members.

Thank you for your forthrightness. I believe it is of interest to members to know. As for your dealings with HON Foundation, it helps a great deal to clear the unhelpful from the constructive. Keep up the honesty and fabulous work you do.

Ian

[Genevieve]

My boyfriend is being manipulated and brainwashed by Shari Schreiber. I realized all to late what was going on and now I can only wait patiently and hope that he will emerge from all of this. Many red flags... .   the worst is that she actually threatened him: "either break up with your girlfriend or I will stop counseling you."  No one has the right to make decisions for another person. She is trying to play the role of God. This is not therapy, this is a bitter woman's quest for power and control. (And there is no way that she is "healthy" herself... .   her tweets especially are extremely defensive and arrogant).

Side note: another blogger mentioned that Shari charges $160/hr... .   which is significantly more money than she is charging my boyfriend currently. I wonder why?

Is there a way to report her?  She is taking advantage of people in their most vulnerable states. People who are desperate for "the answers" are being mislead by her. Is there anything that can be done to stop her?

I found this form online... .   I cannot file a complaint because I was not her patient but some of you who have had her "therapy" would be able to.

breeze.ca.gov/datamart/loginCADCA.do

[jj2121]

My boyfriend is being manipulated and brainwashed by Shari Schreiber. I realized all to late what was going on and now I can only wait patiently and hope that he will emerge from all of this. Many red flags... .   the worst is that she actually threatened him: "either break up with your girlfriend or I will stop counseling you."  No one has the right to make decisions for another person. She is trying to play the role of God. This is not therapy, this is a bitter woman's quest for power and control. (And there is no way that she is "healthy" herself... .   her tweets especially are extremely defensive and arrogant).

Side note: another blogger mentioned that Shari charges $160/hr... .   which is significantly more money than she is charging my boyfriend currently. I wonder why?

Is there a way to report her?  She is taking advantage of people in their most vulnerable states. People who are desperate for "the answers" are being mislead by her. Is there anything that can be done to stop her?

I found this form online... .   I cannot file a complaint because I was not her patient but some of you who have had her "therapy" would be able to.

https://www.dca.ca.gov/webapps/psychboard/complaints.php

I thought Shari Schreiber's article on the BPD waif was very accurate and almost identical to my ex, although she did make me feel uncomfortable the way she said anybody that is with a waif has childhood issues themselves. She seems to enjoy criticizing people,also thought she was harsh on people with BPD. I actually got an email from her, asking for $200 an hour... .   em no.

[Calm Waters]

i had an hour on the phone with Shari Schrieber at the beginning when i was in crisis.

I found her conversational style over familiar and she tried to pull the oldest trick in the book as a sales inducement, i.e  ' I am not sure I can work with you'

I paid £100 for the hours and whilst it was useful for me to decide not to continue with hindsight her blog did possibly stop me from making a suicide attempt as I was so traumatised at the time. So £100 seemed like good value at the time, however with hindsight now she does have a very polarized view of BPD, I agree.

[LilMissSunshine]

Most recently my BPD told me he was in therapy because of me.  His therapist is none other than the notorious Sheri Schreiber.  

I researched her out and well, I was horrified.

[dansure]

The first 3 months after the breakup, I was at a really bad place. I drunk a lot and I spend hours and hours reading about BPD. I spent a lot of time on Shari Schreiber's site and while this website helps to understand what happened with a BPD, it's also dangerous. That woman earns her money with people that got hurt by BPDs. At some point I started to believe that I have a "core trauma", that it's my parents fault that I stayed for so long with my ex and so on. But this is when I realized that this is just not true and that I have been reading too much on website. My parents treated me well, I don't have any childhood traumas. I have been bullied a little at some point during high school, but that's not anything I need a therapy for.

I finally realized that I stayed for so long because I had a low self-esteem at the moment I dated my ex. I wasn't happy with my figure, I didn't go out much and I was still affected by my first girlfriend. I also had problems with being alone. So every since the beginning of this year I try to open a new chapter in my life. I work on fixing the issues that made me stay for so long in that relationship, which was nothing but horrible for the last 3 month before it ended.

[bb12]

I stumbled across Shari Schreiber . Her site gave me many of my first uh-huh  moments. But I am also at a place of foregiveness with my exBPD and can be shocked on re-reading some of her pieces. I think the articles on this site (bpdfamily) are far more balanced and everything seems to hint at the need to look at our own stuff as much as their's.

[tianshio]

I wanted to let everyone know that Shari Schreiber is not licensed therapist. She never passed her boards.  Her intern license was canceled years ago.

She is, however, licensed by the board of barbers and cosmeticians, license 61510. Same middle name.  Same physical address.



Her original website in 2004 was about weight loss and how to quit smoking.

She does “International calling” meaning that if she’s administering counselling in a way that she needs to be licensed she must be licensed in every country she’s getting calls from.

If she she had a license in her home town in California, she can practice through all of America (Licenses from California, Texas, and New York (I believe only those three, possibly Florida too?) are accepted in every state). There is no “International Licensure”.

I've made a complaint about her. I can't share it here unfortunately.