Four X's later and I am still standing, a repeat of whom I choose

[Aqua13]

Hallo to All.

So...I have read WOE, read Randi's book Stop WOE Workbook and am busy with Randi's 'Love & Loathing'...I have most probably read other that I have imported as well, but the fourth wave I was not expecting, a 'Church Goer, as 'churchy' as they come, she even were a radio broadcaster on a Christian Radio Station, so how can she be anything than 'perfect'? She definitely hid and is still hiding behind her 'Christianity and the 'she wants to save the world' attitude'.
Trying to convince you that you are the 'MAD' one, want to control finances, your emotions, thoughts, and everything in your OWN home! When you get home from a long contract, her words are; 'Why do you come and surprise me/us at home'...and then this is the home that you were generously giving them a roof over their heads...YOUR OWN HOME!
She cannot look after herself get a decent job, or place her own children in school, the non-BP needs to do ALL of this for her...I actually feel sorry for her, but I know I need to stop, as this will be my downfall, for sure, for EVER!.
On the other end, she is beyond pathetic, threatening me (the provider); even as far as criminal charges when I have done nothing wrong, but provide, care, help, assist, listen, sort out her and her children's problems, issues, and the rest...,
I have given her most of my furniture to move on, and myself has chosen to move to another town, make a fresh start, but she is still trying to 'fish/reel' me back, but Randi's material is a huge help when I read it and contemplate on it, thank you very, very much, Randi!
She will shame, and influence your own family with her poison, making them part of her 'flying monkeys'!. And the worst is, she will go as low as using your own child to gain the outcome she wants! ...and she does!
The research I did shows a 'Passive Aggressive Narcissit'. She fits the complete profile, COMPLETE!
If I have not done the research of a 'Narcissist and most definitely BPD which is a milder form of NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder), I would have most probably not have been sending this email tonight, and not been able to understand all of this in my own brain...you need to for your own healing I believe.
It is late where I am and I am working tomorrow, so this is a big step for me in a certain way, talking about where life needs to lead me from here onwards.
I have also realized that my 'past' assisted me in choosing whom I had relationships with, and married, this is a sad reality, but something I will have to deal with from here onwards, ...but I think it will be easier with all the information that I could gather out of all the reading materials.

I do not want to be flabbergasted with email, messages, and 'I can help you' messages, because at the end of the day, the most important 'person' that needs your help, is yourself! ...yes, it shouts for help...but I am a man, as manly as they come most probably, and strong...but this little thing, is as evil as they come, let me tell you! As evil as they come!
It is truly only YOU that can help you, but...it should actually be, 'the only person that can be responsible for your own happiness is...YOURSELF!'

F@£k people, this was not an easy ride and is still burning while I try and clean up the last bits, but damn, sure wish I will be happy when done!

Difficult to press the SEND button!

Aqua13

[Couscous]

Couldn't agree with you more. We don't just fall into these relationships because of bad luck. We have to work on ourselves and heal our childhood wounds if we are going to be able to have healthy relationships. And usually we have to hit bottom before we realize this.