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Author Topic: uBPDw stealing my things  (Read 603 times)
Anonymous1847

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Complicated
Posts: 13


« on: May 23, 2022, 11:16:28 AM »

So my uBPDw painted me black about 10 months ago due to some imagined wrong (you know how easy it is to wrong them by drinking the last coke). One day when I was at work she packed and left, and walked away with about $40,000 worth of things I own. She's starting to revalue me and comes out with this gem "I will give your stuff back which is locked up at my mother's when I trust you again". Isn't that classic? She'll give my own things back when she "heals" from her imagined wrongs. At this point it is a joke and I simply keep all of my things I still have locked up or hidden around her. She has to "trust" me but offers zero trust herself. Hilarious.
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Notwendy
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
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« Reply #1 on: May 23, 2022, 11:44:12 AM »

I don't have an equivalent example, but BPD mother would confiscate my things as a way to punish me. Of course as a kid/teen, my possessions only had emotional value, not costly value but she's take them if she was angry at us.

With my father, it was more that she'd destroy something he was working on, or his possessions.

We were all anxious about this and as you suggested, locked things up when we could. We'd panic if we remembered we left something out. I recall "rescuing" an important work paper that my dad left out by accident so she wouldn't get it.

I don't understand why she does this, but it was something we were concerned about.
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PeteWitsend
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
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« Reply #2 on: May 23, 2022, 06:01:22 PM »

BPDxw did not steal my things, but would throw them away; she'd also throw away gifts my mom or my aunts sent to our daughter.  Ice cold.

What I did was get a small storage unit, on the DL.  Then I moved as much of my personal stuff there as I felt I could without BPDxw noticing.  Nothing major, just mementos, family photos, family heirlooms, etc.  I left all my books and some of my own furniture in the house up until the divorce, and things I used regularly (laptop, clothes, etc. etc.).  But this still did some wonders for my mental well-being, way out of proportion to the value of the things in the storage unit.  It also came in handy when I did move out and file for divorce... had a storage unit available to keep all my stuff in.  

@Anonymous1847, why don't you just call the police?  Keep all the receipts as evidence of her theft.  You might not get your things back, but you might.  And either way, let her and her mom deal with the fallout.

Although, I'm assuming it's over between you two, but I can't honestly tell from your post.
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