My best friend I believe has BPD.
What do I need to do to help her? What do I need to do to help her realize its all okay, I'm not going away.
That is a great question. And wonderful that you are friends. I personally believe that for pwBPD to be in committed relationships, they really do need to learn some self awareness through solid friendships.
The first thing that I would recommend is that you read DBT Made Simple - You can get it on Amazon. DBT Made Simple is a resource for therapists to use with their clients. So it is accessible and yet NOT pop psychology. This will give you an appreciation of the challenges your friend will encounter in therapy.
The second thing you can to is to remain consistent and stable - like a sponsor would in AA. As your friend has mood swings, you remain stable. When she needs space - you back off. When you are together, you enjoy the moment. You also maintain your boundaries. You have plenty of forgiveness but you don't give in on the stability and consistency.
Finally, as things progress, and she hopefully develops more self awareness and self control, then you can act in collaboration to be a second set of eyes for her, so to speak. And this last one is something that I would say that you would work up to.
Hope that is a good start for you.
Hang in there. You are doing a good thing.
Rev
