Should I breakup?

[Ivanhoe]

Lovely partner has extreme anger issues. She is 63 divorced. I am 70, widowed. We’ve been friends for 2 decades, lovers for 4 years - since my wife died.

Examples of her anger are always around mistakes I make that she intensely personalizes, then determines to break us up.  She shuts me out and then over time allows me back in, following my apologies, etc. wondering what others have done after going thru this 20 times in the last four years - I’ve never broken up with her!

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[healthfreedom4s]

Ivanhoe,
Welcome! You have found this community at the right time!
You have a question, which I believe no one can answer.
I suggest that you start at a different place - spend time in learning 1) skills to cope up with BPD partner 2) nature of the disorder.
When you are on this journey, you may figure out your values/boundaries, what is negotiable and what is not, what you can put up and what you can’t etc.. It may lead to the answer for your question.
Another starting point - You can share your current issues in detail and experienced folks will help you make sense of them and ways to deal with them.
Welcome again!