Panic attacks during withdrawal from r/s

[Tupla Sport]

Did anyone's anxiety get bad enough to trigger panic attacks during the first weeks or months of weening themselves off of the BPD relationship?

I haven't had panic attacks for years but now I can't sleep and am afraid of an attack.

For a number of days now I've felt weird and disconnected. I saw my ex today for the first in weeks as she was coming from the grocery store. It was early in the day and I thought I got over it. But I'm not sure if that was the case.

[arjay]

Did anyone's anxiety get bad enough to trigger panic attacks during the first weeks or months of weening themselves off of the BPD relationship?

I haven't had panic attacks for years but now I can't sleep and am afraid of an attack.

For a number of days now I've felt weird and disconnected. I saw my ex today for the first in weeks as she was coming from the grocery store. It was early in the day and I thought I got over it. But I'm not sure if that was the case.

Yes I did, and never had them before in my life.  I finally got to the doc - explained my situation.   I was on anti-depressants for a month and it helped me get over the early stages of grief; helped re-ground me.  Based on some of the things she said/threats/etc and 5-years of chaos, left me with a mild case of PTSD.   She is Social Worker too ...go figure.

Ultimately taking better care of myself (some mornings I could barely muster enough energy to go to work), getting exercise, total NC , going to the beach; watching a sunset; anything to help me find peace.

I ended up in counseling after realizing I needed help.  I learned a lot about myself and it helped with the healing process.  It's been 15 years of NC for me and I still do think of her at times, but mainly wondering how many more victims there have been since me.

All the best

[SaltyDawg]

So far, I have only had one [we are still together, for now] when I first came to the realization that my uBPDw likely has BPD and the most likely scenario was a divorce.

If we do the big "D", I suspect I will likely have more as I have my own 'abandonment' issues.

Right now I am working on getting her to become 'self-aware', but her T's are definitely not of school of thought to let her know   Thereby, perpetuating the nightmare.

[Sappho11]

I had panic attacks after the first discard (had never had any psychological anomalities before) and especially when we got together again after only two weeks, for the recycle.

Hellish.

After it ended for good, I was lucky to be able to enforce a year of NC (which probably saved my life). I only saw my ex again by chance at a tram stop a couple of weeks ago and I immediately turned and briskly walked the other way. It wasn't panic then, just a feeling of "oh hell no", the kind you get when you see a traffic jam and you just about manage to take the last exit before it.

[Mutt]

My panick attacks were there before I went minimal contact with my exuBPDw. I had panick attacks before I met her and being in a r/s helped my anxiety.

The panic attacks started a few weeks after she left. She told me what I wanted to hear before she left ( shared custody with the kids ) The rules started changing on a daily basis after she left. ( only have access every other weekend )  I found it really hard to be by myself without the kids.

During my break up and talking to members here I changed my ideology with anti- epressants.

Talk theraphy / CBT and working out helped with the depression and anxiety.

Later I started taking anti-depressants and changed my diet. All of those things combined, with time passing and spending time with family, friends and making new friends helped with feeling better.

[tina7868]

Did anyone's anxiety get bad enough to trigger panic attacks during the first weeks or months of weening themselves off of the BPD relationship?

I haven't had panic attacks for years but now I can't sleep and am afraid of an attack.

It must be difficult to be so afraid that you can't sleep. Don't hesitate to reach out to a professional, and to learn about strategies to manage panic attacks.

To answer your question, I have had them. It would mostly start with thoughts surrounding the fears I had regarding his new relationship (is he happier than he was with me? is it really over? what will happen to me if it's really over?), and then once that door was open to thoughts that disturb me like that I'd have flashbacks of other times I felt like I was spiraling in the relationship. I'd feel like I was living all the moments at once and couldn't see in front of me.

What helped was splashing cold water on my face. Having a supportive friend or family member around, or calling someone, also helped. When the anxiety mounts so much that you start hyperventilating it helps to bring yourself back to the here and now where you are safe by doing things like noticing the texture of your clothes, the contact your feet have with the floor, etc.

I saw my ex today for the first in weeks as she was coming from the grocery store. It was early in the day and I thought I got over it. But I'm not sure if that was the case.

What did you feel when you saw her that makes you think you are not over it? Of course, it's perfectly normal for emotions to come in waves like that, with intensity peaks concurring with triggering events (like seeing your ex in person). However you felt and reacted is valid.

[Manic Miner]

I don't have panic attacks but deep sadness that comes from the gut. I cannot cry, my eyes just get watery, I just stare at one spot. Some physical activity helps best - any chore will do too. Wiping floors, vacuuming. After that you will feel better and have your house clean at the same time. It's usually best to do what your body wants the least at those times. You feel numb and want to be in bed -> go jogging, run, play loud music. Feels terrible at first but is so much rewarding, you will feel so fresh and energized after.

I did start having bad dreams occasionally. Just today I had one that tought me a lesson. I dreamed of my mother that passed away 18 years ago. She told me she'd have to leave temporarily, for a day, but didn't say when, where or why.
I felt both feared, scared and angry - why are people doing this to me? Why I have to wait someone constantly! Waiting and waiting, suspense. Of course she didn't show up.

Waiting of not knowing the outcome is one of my worst fears. In my dream I remembered how my W also left me lingering, waiting for something to happen. I felt so desperate and woke up.

I learned that my fear of W leaving wasn't only related to her but the root cause was actually my mother, the way she died. This dream made me realize that many issues we are suffering today are caused, amplified and exaggerated by some trauma from almost forgotten past that felt similar.

[Trex01]

I had never had panic attacks until the breakup. Could not sleep after. Rumination only allowed me to sleep about two hours a night. I ended up having an adverse reaction to meds that actually made it worse. It has been three months now. Therapy and different meds seem to be helping.