My ex with BPD

[Mithsariam]

Hi,

I am not sure where to start.i broke up with my ex few months ago but I was forced to keep messaging and phone contact. I I need to leave and redo my life but it seems imposible. I get continually threatening phrases, insults and I feel hopeless. It’s like I am not allowed to leave even if I want to.
I need some help, i have anxiety all the time.

[Tangled mangled]

Mithsariam,
Welcome to this forum and I am sorry to hear about the circumstances that ledyou here. This is a safe space where you can vent and perhaps rant about the tough times you are experiencing.
Breaking up with someone with BPD is very difficult, I can relate to the feelings you have expressed, feeling trapped, like a hostage ,like  you are not allowed to leave.
This can cause anxiety and and sometimes depression, so it helps to have people in your life that can atleast listen and provide much needed validation.
If you feel comfortable enough to share, were you married to your partner and are there children involved? I’m just wondering about the need to keep contact with your ex after the break up.
Feel free to express your feelings, this can be difficult, especially when you have been a relationship with someone who cares little about how you feel or your opinions.
I’m new to this forum but I’m sure there are others on here who can provide more advice. So far it has really helped sharing on this forum and receiving validation.

[NotAHero]

Hi,

I am not sure where to start.i broke up with my ex few months ago but I was forced to keep messaging and phone contact. I I need to leave and redo my life but it seems imposible. I get continually threatening phrases, insults and I feel hopeless. It’s like I am not allowed to leave even if I want to.
I need some help, i have anxiety all the time.

 You didn’t leave many details here but what is stopping you from leaving ?

 If it’s the logistics, there are solutions in most cases.

 If it’s the BPD tactics, read some stories here and you will find great strength.

 Anxiety is a natural reaction when targeted by someone you cared about. Many of us been through it. It’s tough, best of luck.

[Mithsariam]

We are not married and we don’t have children. The reason why I am still in contact is because I am threaten when I want to stop messaging. Yesterday I wrote in WhatsApp a text saying that the behaviour I was suffering from the other part was deeply affecting me, I wanted to stop messaging and I wished all the best. This morning I found more than 59 messages and the last one were screenshots from my friends and family, saying was going to type them. I am scared of that, deeply.

[Tangled mangled]

Mithsariam,
Sounds like you are being harassed and in the country where I live, it’s a criminal offence to send anyone a huge number of texts. The police can get involved and may be get a restraining order.
If he’s using your family and friends to harass you, that’s also a crime that can be handled by the police.
One thing with BPD males, they like it when their victims are scared or even frightened. They take joy in intimidating you if you are isolated.
I would get the police involved and act out of my usual character if I was you. Of course I do not know the specifics, you may be dealing with an antisocial PD , someone with total disregard for the law, so take advice if you may but keep your self safe.
The text messages are evidence already, if you think you are being stalked get body cameras on you, the more evidence you have the better.
Take care of yourself.

[Tangled mangled]

And also , stop explaining or complaining to him . Only share what’s going on with people he doesn’t know or have access to.
Bpd like to triangulate, smear campaign and tell the world proudly that you are going mad.
You are not going mad.
If you can only give short answers/ reply to messages like yes or no. Better if you don’t reply at all. Get a new phone number

[Mithsariam]

Hi,

Thank you for all the advices. In which country are you? I am in the uk. I don’t want to get involved my family or friends, do you think this can be also done?.

[Tangled mangled]

UK has laws to protect you, I know that from experience.
Contact a domestic violence charity or the police non emergency if there’s no immediate threat but 999 if there’s one. All the text messages are vital evidence for the police.

It’s against the law to harass anyone, you can leave your family out of the report as your partner is the main perpetrator.

If you are scared and anxious report to your GP, when you get to the legal side of things that will serve as evidence.

Domestic violence charities in the UK can put you in the right direction and where there has been violence or threats of violence you won’t pay any money to get legal aid.

Sitting quietly empowers your abuser.