welcome Viri,
I'm glad you found us and took the brave first step of posting your message. You have found a community that understands what it is like to be in a relationship with someone with an illness. It's often times confusing and upsetting.
I'm going to start with two recommendations and two links. The first is a book and in the green text is the review here on this website.
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=203887.0Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist Author: Margalis Fjelstad, PhD, LMFT is one of the best books available. It describes the unique relationship dynamics we find ourselves in. My then partner (now Ex) was/is diagnosed Bipolar 1 comorbid (coexisting) with another disorder, most likely BPD. When I first came here, I was very confused and struggling with a lot of anxiety. Reading this book helped me enormously. I probably highlighted more than half of it as I read.
There are a lot of resources here on this website. On the top of this board, pinned to always stay there is a thread called LESSONS. Inside that thread you will find links and articles that introduce you to this website, to BPD and tools/skills that help us respond better. browse around. find what speaks/works for you.
https://bpdfamily.com/content/what-does-it-take-be-relationshipplease feel free to post as much as you feel comfortable with. the more you post the more the community here will come to learn your story. that will help folks reply specifically to you, your questions and your situation. I found that posting here, the simple act of writing out my thoughts, helped me organize my thinking and de-stress from it.
I'll be looking for your reply in the coming days.
'ducks