You'll want to delve into the validation skills in the Lessons at the top of the board. I saw a lot of invalidation on your side in the interactions you wrote. That is understandable given how fresh this is and heightened emotions. I've been there. I'm also not approving of what she's said which is highly immature and nasty.
I saw a few videos on this and sometimes actually try it... but it's difficult with her. I could for example validate her and say things like "I do understand you are feeling this way..." but with her it 's hard to not have a "but...". I also don't want to validate her wrong perceptions or memories, this is something her mother is doing a lot, especially when her mother can gain, regain or can keep control over her daughter on this way.
I still must look deeper into validation skills. As said, I already dived a little bit into it... but it's just hard to grasp how you can validate someone who has so many false memories, perceptions. It's hard to find things that I can validate and at the same time explaing myself that it's not true what she thinks.
Even if you don't get back together, you'll still be parenting a child together, so you'll need to learn those skills, and I hope that you can work it out so that you aren't cut off from your baby daughter.
I am already, from birth on. Saw my daughter 5, maybe 10 minutes. She's now 14 days old. I've been in contact with youth welfare service a lot but they wrote me today too that they just run out of recources with our case (which started whith false accusations related to the stepson, and now recently was more about the baby). But considering what they know, I've been just shocked when I received an email from them today, telling me basically that they no longer can help me. In the meantime, I got a new lawyer but he seems busy... trying to get a new appointment. There is no other way to battle this out at court from now on. We got mediation suggested... but I guess after that, we will see each other at the court. News is...
APR 24:
Wife unblocked me again. I would assume she contacted her lawyer about the mentioned "Apr 15 - signatures" case. I would assume her lawyer told her "Well, I don't know, but I wouldn't sign half contracts or applications either, why don't you give your husband all pages?". Whatever is the case... she just contacted me now "Now you have all pages in the mailbox, can you please sign them and give the signed application back to me in the evening?". What I found were indeed to full pages now... but not filled out. Just an empy application. What is so hard giving me a full and filled out application? I wrote her "Hi, I'd like to help you and see you gave me the entire application but can you please fill it out and then I check and sign it. I give the empty papers back to you, when you filled them out and put them back in my mailbox, I help you ASAP". Guess what happened. She blocked me again.
Seriously, I don't want to annoy her. But it never happened in my entire life that I signed a half contract or application... nor did I ever sign an empty contract or application. It's like common sense... I mean, it's either logic you learn yourself when you turn 18 and get into buerocratic stuff... or your mother or whoever taught you this along your way... if not them, maybe a commercial school or your job. Whatever... it's just common sense.
I just asked my half-sister and a friend if I am the stupid guy here? Both said "I've never signed half or empty contracts either".
She could have had the papers signed days ago.
