Ten

[Mutt]

Today is ten years to date exactly when my pwBPD left me. Reflecting back on that day, the pain didn't settle in yet. I hadn't excepted reality at that point. The fear and panic wouldn't settle in until about a week after. I actually felt relief because I was going through the daily highs and lows that you experience with a pwBPD. It felt I was getting a break.

Everything was moved out from the kids bedrooms, with the exception of my things, the couch and a TV stand ( she took the TV ) I had to close the kids bedrooms because it was a reminder that they were gone every time that I had passed their room.

Today it feels like a distant memory, the pain was immense at that time, nothing like I had previously felt and I certainly don't feel the same way today. I didn't forget though Im a lot more conscientious today with what I will allow into my world.

With that said, it was an experience that helped me grow as a person, it allowed me to take the red pill and to see what was goimg on around me and it helped me delve into my past and to begin to understand why I was attracted to a person with borderline traits. For that I am grateful because it gave me a new lease on life but its nit an experience that I would wish to go through again. It's one and done.

[kells76]

 

Good to hear from you, Mutt. Thanks for opening up and sharing your reflections on the meaning of today. I get what you're saying about not wishing the experience on anyone else, even though you've grown and learned so much.